I go to college, when I am on campus I have gotten very good at not looking at women at all. If they are holding the door open I just put my hand on it to open it myself and don't look at them, if they are walking in front of me I look to the side, if they are walking towards me I look at the ground. This helps me keep away thoughts of ineptitude and bitterness, as I am at least not seeing what I can't have.

Now the weather is getting very warm, and the clothes are coming off. Like clockwork women are now presenting their bodies to chad every time they step on campus. Not to be a creep, but it is just impossible for me to avoid looking now. Even if I look away I still get a glimpse of pale thighs, cleavage, bare skin. It then gets my imagination going, even if I don't look at the girl. I am deprived when it comes to physical affection. My imagination is just trying to fill the gaps somehow.

I just imagine the men they are presenting themselves to and how I am not good enough. I am surrounded by what I desire, yet can't have, and they present themselves to be mated with, however the blackpill makes it known that no matter what I will never be able to indulge in these offerings, I can only look and imagine what it would be like if I were a few inches taller and had a better looking face.

I had been doing a good job of trying not to think about the blackpill, but this brings it to the forefront of my mind.