Catching the feels

quantum7066 · 2024-12-07T21:29:15+00:00

How long it's been since your divorce? Do you have children and how old are they?

Moms_Sketti88 · 2024-12-04T23:17:44+00:00

Hang out with other separated women. You know going in they are just out to have fun. Heck, from what I’ve read on here, most have left their husbands to have fun.

But I totally get it man. I met a great woman, we both caught feels. I took the first month apart not very well haha. The issue for me was that I never had a true connection to my wife (baby trapped and married out of obligation due to religion and family pressure at the time). However, my divorce is awfully contentious and my wife is absolutely crazy. It hurt but I had to put it on pause to reflect and keep her at a distant so my wife doesn’t lose her shit. Also so I don’t burn a bridge with this other chick. My divorce is dragging on and I could sense the other girl was getting sad and felt used. After all, I’m divorcing my wife for being crazy and mean to others and myself. I can’t think of how she will handle it if she finds out I met another woman during our divorce. So for me I have to think of other safety in a way lol.

PM me if you want to chat.

DuckIcy6297 · 2024-12-04T20:03:46+00:00

Do you feel comfortable by your self?? if not you might be jumping into dating to try and fill a void.

Expert-Raccoon6097 · 2024-12-03T18:29:09+00:00

This happens when you rely on women for validation. It is precisely why nothing will come of those relationships.

You need to build yourself a fulfilling life on your own and learn how to validate yourself. That way you can date/have sex with no attachment to the outcome.

Ok_Builder_3285 · 2024-12-03T15:53:49+00:00

It sounds like you should be the giving the tips about how to hang out with women. ha ha.

Positive_Rub_6696 · 2024-12-03T15:25:27+00:00

In the last 6 months I came to realize two things, interrelated.

1) I have an “anxious insecure” attachment style

2) I have almost no tolerance for being alone

A couple years ago a friend observed that I’m a “serial monogamist.” I tend to get into relationships and probably stay in them longer than I should, and this stems from 1 & 2 above.

I started seeing a therapist about a month ago and I’m digging to the roots of what’s driving these tendencies and desperately looking to learn to cope better with turning loneliness to solitude.

ExaminationKlutzy194 · 2024-12-03T14:57:06+00:00

This is likely going to be an issue until you resolve the current relationship you are in and put it to rest.

To make an analogy, life isn’t a claw game. You don’t reach in with the claw and pluck out a new prize and replace the relationship you have.

It’s a shift from going from a relationship mindset (today, tomorrow and next year) to one of just the moment (and no more). Essentially stoicism.

You may need to consider at least not hooking up until you can address it.

Two books to consider reading and thinking through to help you.

The Unplugged Alpha 2nd Edition by Richard Cooper.

The Tactical Guide to Women by Shawn Smoth.

THX1138-22 · 2024-12-03T13:09:19+00:00

I have the same issues, so I delay sex until after we both get std testing. It helps me filter for mature partners also. The emotionally unstable ones can’t handle std testing. Condoms don’t protect well against the two most common STDs: hsv and hpv. Once you get an std, it will destroy your dating experience because women will not want you.

Title	Catching the feels
Author	Substantial_Top5148
Upvotes	4
Comments	16
Date	December 3, 2024 12:15 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1h5m2ie/catching_the_feels/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/catching-the-feels.1537470 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537470

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