Dating Apps, I’m striking out!

Kinkayed · 2024-07-31T20:13:39+00:00

Meet people organically.

My first girlfriend post divorce was a hottie but mental. I knew that and went for the ride. Fuck it I need just a mess.

After that though I just started noticing cute woman working or whatever and noticed personalities. I’m your age (45) and there was this beautiful blue eyed, dark haired, curvy girl working at our lumber supplier (I’m a home builder) no ring 💍 and happy. So I asked her about her green drink on her desk, working out.

We hit it off, and all I had to be was fun. Like she had dated nerds. Took her jet sking (borrowed from my sister). She is a widow, so a bit lost but stable.

Anyway, look for what you want. Don’t promise shit you don’t want too. Get out there. Failure is okay too. Get a girl you wouldn’t date, because why not? You wouldn’t get married. Have some fun.

LemonDropRush · 2024-07-31T08:18:24+00:00

Which app(s)?

LMS_THEORY_ · 2024-07-31T01:25:48+00:00

STAY OFF THE APPS!!!

crager34 · 2024-07-29T17:39:57+00:00

Skip dating sites and maybe even dating for awhile, depending on how recent the breakup was. Try meetup. Com and look for social activities.

Betteroffalone1111 · 2024-07-31T01:10:37+00:00

Went on two dates this with woman talked everyday, had a great time, scheduled for another date, went quiet for a couple days turns out she was too “busy” to date

Spiritual_Curve4789 · 2024-07-30T00:05:43+00:00

Do yourself a favor: be single for a year. I recommend going on a solo trip (I went on a fishing trip to Iceland). Came home and started on Tinder. I created a good Tinder profile by reading about how to have a good profile. This is key: PAY FOR THE APP. I paid for 4 months and had many, many dates. After a few months, found a good one, and we've been steady for about 18 months.

Own_Saucer1993 · 2024-07-29T18:37:41+00:00

Most women on apps treat it passively - meaning they’re not actively liking profiles. They’re definitely scouting but most aren’t bold enough to put themselves out there and get rejected or ignored.

In fact for me most women who like my profile first are from women I wouldn’t even notice out in public. They probably come from the grouping of women who are invisible to men and have accepted that if any motion in their dating life is going to happen it’s up to them to initiate.

So really it’s up to you to pursue. I’m fairly new to this modern dating scene but the one thing I picked up recently is to look for the profiles of women who are hidden gems. The women who aren’t vain, maybe even a bit of an introvert, has more to offer than just looks. Because they don’t obsess over their looks they likely don’t have the most flattering pics of themselves to display. You’re looking for the reverse catfish. Most guys skip them because we’re visual creatures so they get passed on for the woman who has her angles, outfits, and filters on point.

Always shoot your shot. Try to seek out women you can practice with. You’re new to dating and just feeling things out. The woman who matched you who isn’t really your type can be a lesson on how to flirt or help get you back into finding your dating style. Who knows maybe by spending time with this person you might see her under a different and more attractive light.

Get some traction first, get momentum, then you’ll get some motion in dating. Get the reps in by putting yourself in low pressure situations. This is where you get creative and find what works for you and what doesn’t. You’ll fumble and that’s all good the lessons are the same and at least you fumbled during practice.

You can also just pause dating and start building a life you’re proud of. That might need to be your first step honestly. Women and also men don’t want to be in a position of feeling like they’re the reason for another’s happiness. Rebuild your life and when that’s done you can start to look for woman that meets your standard and fits into your life and vice versa. Being divorced and having gone through the circus of marriage you don’t have pressure for marriage anymore. Take your time and do it right this time.

Embarrassed-Steak331 · 2024-07-29T15:11:50+00:00

Online dating is a cesspool.

Women don't stick to their lane. This makes them vulnerable to "10" guys who only want to bang on the first date / catch and release. Most women get their feelings hurt whether they bang or not. Women believe all guys are like this. And they come away jaded.

It's 75% photos, 25% car.

Some women aren't dating. They're farming ego likes.

It's a narcissist's playground.

Women are out there ranking guys. There's a large Facebook group split by cities. Each large city has tens of thousands of women using it. This was actually enough to get me to stop. I've met a lot of women who work at the same place. I thank them and say goodbye. I don't mix work and personal. But it gets worse. There are MANY coworkers on these Facebook groups. I don't want to mix dating and professionalism at the dick size level. (I'm fine btw hahah)

I do actually get a lot of likes and matches. Doesn't help. There are five more stages. Getting the first date. Getting rolling dates. Figuring out what is true and what is bullshit. Making her dreams come true. Sigh. I hate the male provider model.

Then getting in a LTR.

Bretweir_jerky · 2024-07-29T12:28:15+00:00

Oh man, I remember being you… I’m gonna be as direct as I can without letting you see the full picture; that would be way too much for you right now. Women on dating apps are trash. 90% of men will not get one like or conversation. There are more “bots” than actual real women and are only on there to encourage you to pay more for the “premium” service. The nurses, I mean women that are on there are ran through. Most of the teachers and flight attendants, I mean, women in there are using this app for free validation and food/drinks. It’s fun to scroll, have a few good conversations if you’re like lottery level lucky…until you see someone you rather you didn’t…. They are not the answer

Express-Ad1683 · 2024-07-29T15:07:04+00:00

Online dating is a cesspool.

Women don't stick to their lane. This makes them vulnerable to "10" guys who only want to bang on the first date then catch and release. Women believe all guys are like this. And they come away jaded.

It's 75% photos, 25% car.

Some women aren't dating. They're farming ego likes.

It's a narcissist's playground.

Women are out there ranking guys. There's a large Facebook group split by cities. Each large city has tens of thousands of women using it. This was actually enough to get me to stop. I've dated a lot of women who work at the same place I do. I know it happens. That's already a show stopper for me. But to get critiqued on a platform where a LOT of my coworkers are talking shit, yeah, that's creepy beyond my tolerance level. I don't want to mix dating and professionalism at the dick size level. (I'm fine btw hahah)

I do actually get a lot of likes and matches. Doesn't help. There are five more stages. Getting the first date. Getting rolling dates. Figuring out what is true and what is bullshit. Making her dreams come true. Sigh. Then getting in a LTR.

Title	Dating Apps, I’m striking out!
Author	Affectionate-Bit3415
Upvotes	3
Comments	12
Date	July 28, 2024 12:09 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ee5zzx/dating_apps_im_striking_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/dating-apps-im-striking-out.1525652 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525652

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