I’m mostly unhappy in my relationship and on the verge of divorcing my wife if 11 years. I’m just really struggling with this because this would easily be the most selfish thing I’ve done in my life. The main reason is I’m just not really happy with the state of our relationship and I don’t think any amount of therapy or communication will change that. Our day to day interactions just aren’t great and we clash on almost everything. It’s not terrible most days however my wife is a drinker and on avg gets drunk 4-5 days a week. And honestly I don’t even care about tha, she’s has a group of mom friends that she hangs with and drinks with all the time. My biggest issues is that when she drinks, our clashe’s get much worse. Dealing with this every once in a while would be okay. But multiple times a week gets really frustrating. I’ve been trying for years to get her to drink a little less but it’s ingrained in her personality.

Too add to that, that the past few years I’ve greatly increased my income and gotten in much better shape (my wife has also gained probably 60 pounds and hasn’t stuck with any attempt I make to get in better shape for years).

If I go out without her I always talk to so many more interesting women and it just makes me wonder. I realize the grass is always greener but this combined with other issues just makes things worse. But just to be clear, I don’t want to do this to find someone better, I just genuinely enjoy my life more when I’m not with her or just with my daughter

I’m always a selfless person but I really feel I’m selling my life short by staying and will regret it in the future. And I do still love her, it’s just a weird state where I love her but don’t want to be with her.

I know that her and my our 8 year old daughter will not take it well and I’m sooo stuck on this issue I don’t know what to do. Mostly just here looking for thoughts.