Don't confuse behavior modification for real change.

fatherofamazinggirls · 2021-08-09T03:00:24+00:00

My wife has done this with her alcoholism. Does something stupid, apologizes, doesn't drink for a few days or weeks or up to 1 month once. Then as soon as everything seems "ok", she slowly turns back to sneaking and drinking...thinking no one will notice.

Richguard23 · 2021-08-10T08:49:06+00:00

I had another example from mine. Major blow out with my daughter when they were out west moving my daughter into a new apartment. Horrific experience being 2000 miles away listening to this chaos And i know it takes two to fight like that but during the calls i heard these things from my wife about my daughter: she is a monster (that i created), she is a disgrace, she is a piece of shit, she is a horrible child, she needs to be on mood stabilizers…These are things she said to me and to my daughter. Of course, I’ve heard many of these insults hurled at me as well…and I’m sure there was a little alcohol involved. As i mentioned, my daughter can be argumentative herself, but to me, a 54 year old woman doesnt resolve conflict like this, its just plain old abuse. My daughter was distraught the next day, tried not to interact with my wife, and it was ready to blow again but finally my daughter decided to put it behind her.

Later i could hear it in my wife’s voice..she knew she had crossed the line. I had told her i didnt sleep, that i had a major knot in my stomach. She knows that this is exactly what i expected to happen at least once on the trip. I had told her before they left that i hope they stay calm and dont get into any fights. She said I’m an asshole and that I cant take any conflict. I can tell she is probing me with her phone calls to detect where i am in processing this nonsense. She is on her best behavior for now.

Until the next time.

Title	Don't confuse behavior modification for real change.
Author	pegleg_legal
Upvotes	17
Comments	7
Date	August 9, 2021 2:18 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/p0s90o/dont_confuse_behavior_modification_for_real_change/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/dont-confuse-behavior-modification-for-real-change.849863 https://theredarchive.com/post/849863

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