First Date in 15 Years

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2026-06-02T18:22:41+00:00

So what I learned is that these women move fast. I took a bunch out and was doing the gentleman thing. Every single one of them wanted to get it on much sooner than I anticipated. Granted I have three teens at my house so I can't be bringing strange poon to the house but I was definitely surprised at how fast they wanted to hook up.

Once I figured it out it was fun for a while but definitely got overwhelmed fast with multiple women.

I won't deny it though, the chase was fun.

Intrepid_Counter7324 · 2026-06-01T17:42:46+00:00

I also started dating a few weeks back.

The drive to prove I'm desirable, that I can get a partner/hookup etc... almost entirely gone.

Naturally, at first, I was anxious as to if I could be desirable again (due to the dead bedroom), turns out I can be.

There is a subtle confidence now, not that I'm something better... but I know who I am now, and I like who that man is.

There's a sense of identity thats independent of having a partner. I think that's what's translating into this more austere experience. We can simply be, dating has become a voluntary experience... It's not the social trial it was when we were younger.

Infact, dating is more fun than ever, there are plenty of women and I find women in my age range (young 30s) far more interesting as people, than I did in my 20s. If you want to date the 20-30 year olds, they are there... but they have tendencies that I find really unattractive now. Nothing's universal but there's a maturity as we age, we developed character, accumulate stories and experience. We are richer as people than we used to be. It's more interesting to sit down and meet these people.

All in all, it's been great. Although, it's time consuming and I've decided to take a break for a month or two, just spend more time as me. Enjoy being a father. Enjoy the things I've built in my new life.

Ok_Honey_7219 · 2026-06-01T01:55:11+00:00

I’m a woman. In our 20s we are very hormone based and think little about the importance of compatibility and what we really want in a partner. You are older now and have been through a long marriage that end in divorce. Yes you want to be intimate at some point but since you just got back out there you are being more selective. This is a good thing. Now you get to enjoy the process instead of racing to the finish line.

As for the other men, I am sorry you had horrible experiences with the woman you chose. I am currently dealing a horrible experience with my soon to be x-husband. He is really acting irrational and unfortunately for me also acting very scary with guns. I refuse to allow his actions to affect my opinion of men or make me a bitter person. I am glad to hear you are all taking your time and either enjoying your freedom or still repairing yourself. Remember you are a good person who deserves to be happy and living your best life regardless if you are in a relationship or not. It also does help that your happiness is the best revenge on a x, it really pisses them off.

Hopefully this will help someone who reads this.

MrsManglesBangles · 2026-05-31T21:10:43+00:00

Nice one mate. Congratulations.

I'm haven't yet gone on a date but feel I'm on the cusp although my hearts not that into the idea. Could be because I'm enjoying my independence again, the idea of having a relationship has lost its sheen or I haven't met the right woman yet.

It does feel different though, at 40+ I feel the thrill is lessened and it's a somewhat guarded compatibility assessment after the difficult times during a break up for me anyway.

fiddsy · 2026-05-31T14:43:10+00:00

16+ years... cant bring myself to date - 7 months...

LaCathedrale · 2026-05-31T14:31:15+00:00

Good on you - getting back on the dating horse isn't a small victory.

BatZed · 2026-05-31T14:29:19+00:00

Looking forward to responses on this. I'm going on my first date after 20 years of marriage next Friday. I have no idea what to expect.

Title	First Date in 15 Years
Author	edu_sysadmin
Upvotes	14
Comments	16
Date	May 31, 2026 2:25 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1tsws8a/first_date_in_15_years/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/first-date-in-15-years.1581733 https://theredarchive.com/post/1581733

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