Let me just start this by saying my (38M) wife (35F) is a wonderful person, probably the best person I've ever met and so grateful for the 15 years together...

But we've had struggles, particularly over the past year. Intimacy was the first thing to go, and it felt like a wall was being built between us. We started marriage counseling 8 months ago. I discovered a lot about myself and how to listen rather than just try to fix problems. To listen to understand rather than listening to respond. I think I've been a good husband, but I started to believe thru the marriage counseling that maybe I'm the problem.

But then a bombshell got dropped on me this week at our last session. My wife said she's been in denial for a while but she's gay.

Right now I'm just struggling with how to process this. We had a conversation afterwards and mutually agreed to divorce...but we're still best friends. Like there's a part of me that wishes I hated her so that this process was easier, but I love her. No cheating occurred, physically or emotionally. She's a great mother and the best partner for most of our marriage.

I don't know how you guys do it. I know my experience and emotions aren't unique, but this is quite literally the worst pain I can imagine. On top of that, we've been married our whole post-college adult lives, and being a husband (and father) has always been my primary role. Not only am I losing my wife but feel like I'm losing my identity and don't know who I am anymore.

I apologize if my post is too ranting, but I just need to get these feelings out somewhere. Any advice you have is appreciated.