It's been five years since separation and filing, three since judgement.

My outcome was pretty good. She had some issues that led to zero alimony. That alone was incredible. She sealed it by spending all the divorce money like it's game show winnings, living with someone, and getting a raise. So, that egg is pretty damn well scrambled. I also let her build up all sorts of problems. It took me a long time to feel comfortable that it was over.

She just recently bought a used mobile home. She owes "rent" for the hookups, sewage, all that kind of stuff. The structure was cheap. The rent is not. I'm not quite sure why she did this. It just makes her a captive renter without any benefits. She could have gotten an apartment cheaper. And now that motor home locks her into the mobile home park a little more than it should. She also gave herself a 45 minute commute one way. I get it. "Ownership" just resonates with a lot of people including me. But she should have at least researched it. She also has the fanciest car in the park.

She got her way in marriage. She could scream and howl like a teenager if I didn't agree. And it drove me nuts. Back in the day, we bought a condo instead of a single detached. I can't believe she pushed that through. Some of it came with nails, scratches, and blood. Why? Because the area linked back to HER old high school, the one where everyone graduated or retired. That condo purchase was at least a $500k mistake. We fought like cats and dogs over similar things.

I'm doing okay. It took me a long time to get used to the new normal. I'm a lot poorer. I'm a renter now. But I got my kids through college. And I still have flex in my industry at 50+. So I think recovery is possible. But I'll probably have to relocate to retire. But I'm rebuilding savings.

For those just starting, try to catch when your doomsdaying and snap back into the moment. It's a day-by-day thing, not a financial planning thing. Not at first anyway. Get into therapy if it's too much - it was for me. Find a friend or family member who is pragmatic. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I didn't see it myself for two years. Dark times. But it's definitely not forever.

For me, yeah, divorce cost a lot. But the other side has so far given me the best days I've had in two decades.

Good luck everyone.