Hey y’all,

So it’s been 1 year and 3 months since divorce. And man does it feel weird. Together for 12 years, 3 kids.

I just wanted to share my thoughts cause I really don’t have anyone to share this with anymore.

I told my ex wife at the beginning of the separation - and I still feel this to my core today. I honestly hate the single life. It’s too comfortable and I honestly feel so selfish. Not saying that taking on your own personal happiness and making a better you is bad, I just hate having all this time and being so comfortable. It’s boring to me. Which sounds weird cause you get to do whatever you want. Which I have. But it’s just never enough.

I’d rather be more open and keep myself on my toes at times having to worry or more so care for someone else. Now I know, I can volunteer at a homeless shelter or help a friend in need with stuff. But it’s not the same. I want to literally pour my heart out to someone else. And thinking of doing that again with someone different would feel like a silver medal. But the Gold medal was my ex wife.

idk guys. Trust me I understand, I can easily be like the typical man that loves his free time and time away from the wife and kids. But, doing THAT as my actual normal life now? It’s not a feeling of loneliness it’s just of feeling of emptiness. I may be the first man to ever say, that I hate having all this freedom because it feels wrong and I don’t care about ALWAYS doing what I want. Idk man.