My wife and I married in February of 2016 and I was so happy to be married to her. I still was until 5 days ago. We’ve both gotten secondary degrees and work in the same field and in the same community. We even commute together (her office is a few blocks from mine) and we sold our second car. Our sex life hasn’t been great for a while. It’s been a rare occurrence, but not something that really bothered me because it’s not the most important thing to me. I was always more interested in the love and companionship we shared. We’re best friends.

Recently, she expressed concern about our sex life and told me she wants to be “fucked hard”. I was game, but when I tried to initiate sex in the way she wanted it she rejected my advances completely.

A few days ago she told me she no longer has romantic love for me and thinks of me more as a friend/roommate instead of as a romantic partner of almost 10 years. I asked her when she started to feel this way and she didn’t give me a straight answer. I’m convinced she had these feelings before our talk about our sex life. Now, she’s talking about moving out for a month to “find herself” but claims she doesn’t want to date other people and has no one specific in mind if she did. I’m dying. I love her so much but can’t imagine living a life with a partner that has no romantic love for me. I’m 39 and terrified of starting over. I also can’t imagine trying to figure out what we do with our house, our pets, and our assets if we divorce.

Has anyone had a similar experience? If so, did marriage counseling work? I’m very unsure that she will regain the feelings she once had for me and need to decide if I should cut my losses or try to make this work. Any advice would be very appreciated.