How did reality hit you x?

BigPapaJava · 2024-10-20T15:43:53+00:00

I caught her cheating a few days after she’d filed, which she swore up and down was a misunderstanding—the same woman had constantly accused me of cheating throughout our marriage and put me through hell to constantly “prove” I wasn’t.

Then, a couple of weeks later, as we were sorting out the divorce, she wanted me to agree to be dating someone for at least 6 months before I ever introduced them to our kid. She swore she’d do the same.

Three days after that, she introduced the man she was leaving me for to our daughter and started inviting him to our marital home while I still lived there.

Within a couple more weeks, he’d met her mom, all of her friends, and my ex was telling our daughter he was her new dad. We’d been through mediation but the divorce wasn’t even finalized by a judge yet.

The same asshole had sent me a friend request 3 years ago. I have no idea how long any of this has been going on, but it led me to look at all the sacrifices and suffering I’d been enduring to keep my wife happy in a whole new way.

I’d been ignoring my instincts, telling myself i really was the bad guy here (like she said) and that I needed to do whatever it took to keep her and our kids happy and provided for. Now I see how my instincts were right, but I caved to such manipulation and emotional/psychological abuse for years just to keep the peace and maintain the status quo.

Never again.

Suspicious_Dot6179 · 2024-10-20T07:41:50+00:00

It's not about being good enough. Divorce is simply a season. If us (men who's wives left) were not good enough why is it the women that leave who go on to improve themselves in every way possible, from new hair to new hobbies....we know what and who we are, they don't know shit about their actual selves

Jollyoberlord · 2024-10-20T03:16:41+00:00

She shut her office door to “not be too loud and bother me” while she plays xbox and locks her xbox party. I knew at the point we were at the end. Then i found the proof in her texts when a iMessage notification popped up on our mac book while i was on it she was currently having a conversation that involved photos while i was on the laptop, but on her phone.

Joocewayne · 2024-10-19T19:36:44+00:00

I shouldn’t care any more but some days I still have to fight off the nagging inner voice that says I wasn’t good enough.

Reality hit me when I realized she was in a serious relationship and the divorce was not even finalized. It still makes me feel sick if I mentally go there.

CaliDude75 · 2024-10-19T17:07:38+00:00

I’ve met up with her afterward a few times. She definitely seemed more self-sufficient and “womaned up” probably more out of necessity than desire. But I also noticed she let a lot of the outdoor stuff around the house go to sh!t. I was maybe a little OCD about covering up patio furniture, etc. But I can tell she’s kind of IDGAF about it. Whatever…It’s her house now. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Practical-Island-436 · 2024-10-19T16:05:08+00:00

Her con lawyers have milked her dry for 30k, could have taken that money and gotten herself a house. She's sitting in her house dead broke making less than she did before because she was fired again. Chances of her ever owning a house again unless her parents die and give her the house are slim.

Miserable_Ad_1172 · 2024-10-19T15:47:59+00:00

Mine didn’t. Or I haven’t ever seen it. She moved on and never looked back. Told me in 2 years she’s never had a wobble at all.

Don’t think il ever understand and it still hurts now just how easily she’s broke out family up. 😞

Title	How did reality hit you x?
Author	Training_Ad1368
Upvotes	8
Comments	13
Date	October 19, 2024 2:52 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1g7alq8/how_did_reality_hit_you_x/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-did-reality-hit-you-x.1532816 https://theredarchive.com/post/1532816

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