How do I Become ok with Myself?

LateMastodon3653 · 2026-07-02T16:17:21+00:00

Look at it this way; the trash took itself out. If she left you for some random unknown, nothing's stopping her from doing that to next poor bastard she dates.

The fact that you're able to question your own mental well-being is a sign of meta-cognition; The ability to observe and question your own thinking, instead of blindly accepting a narrative of your ex for example.

You're not going to die alone. You're going to have hard time getting through this, but, in time, you'll look back at this experience and think to yourself; "It was F'd up, but I made it".

Also, don't value yourself based on whom you are or have been with. It is quite a relief when you understand this

LeTronique · 2026-06-30T05:44:05+00:00

You have no business dating anyone else but yourself.
Seriously, go to therapy, get into some hobbies, get yourself something nice, take strides to conquer your depression but PLEASE just don’t let some woman tell you what you’re worth.
You will ALWAYS end up miserable as hell if you do this.

PooferLlama · 2026-06-27T15:43:33+00:00

How do I Become ok with Myself?

Becoming someone you would genuinely feel happy to be.

I've had the same feelings about being fundamentally fucked up and unworthy of love. A lot of the times, like yourself, I based a good chunk of it on things I could never change about myself. Feeling rejected over that crushed my soul and I felt broken. Talk about despair...

I'll cut to the chase here and try to help you understand what you can do so that you can find some peace and come out the other side like a champ.

The biggest question I have is why did she leave you?

What were her stated reasons for leaving behind an 11 year relationship with you?

In my mind, dropping someone I poured 11 years of my life into would mean something serious happened either in acute moments or chronically. Not only that, it just wasn't getting better and I was suffering for too long.

With jobs I've worked, if I've quit them and left for another job, it's usually because the job was shit and the other job was easily better in like every way.

In the same spirit, the alternative of the other guy was appealing, but why? Why over 11 years?

As other redditors are stating, it could be a her thing. In that case, there's nothing you can do.

Or, it could be a you thing. If it's a you thing, then there's definitely something you can do to change it. For that reason, I'd go with seeing how you could have contributed to all of this and start fixing that.

Hope that gives you some ideas.

mistake-number2 · 2026-06-27T11:08:34+00:00

Had very similar after 20 yrs. Was dealing with the same feelings and emotions. Those will subside eventually. These are traits that are not bad. Its honestly in your head. Just have to fix you. The late nights are the hardest. Those nights of spiraling. Its a hard and long process. But it will be worth it. Do things for you. Take a vacation. It is like going for a long walk. If you focus on the long distance, it will wear you down. If you focus on a couple steps ahead, you will get further down the road. Before you realize it, that distance has been covered and then some.

WhaleVonKatzenstein · 2026-06-27T06:51:28+00:00

Short awnser, you dont, for the coming time. Long awnser. A lot of talking with friends, familie a therapist or whom ever you feel good with. First the self healing part, accepting who you are and that the problem wasnt with you, she cheated, she left. Most of the time this happens because they have a problem with them self that they don't can/want to solve so they run away for them self. Something about reflecting on your own personal being, not your fault not your problem. Then the feeling l not being good enough to be loved, thats one for you to find self love. Be oke being with your self, to be alone, to be and just to be in the moment. You are a person whom is loved by many but at the moment not by the most importent one, YOU. So lets start there and get some self loving love on the road again. And dont get me wrong, this is the most difficult part off all. But do understand. Quiting is never the awnser. There are people who like you who love you who would miss you. Its a dark place right now. But you will beat this!

I do not know you but I feel you. I want to give you a hug but you will need to do it with this digital one 🫂.

Stay strong and hoor you had a good night rest.

Motor-Hat-3061 · 2026-06-27T06:20:37+00:00

She abused and ruined you. It's not your fault. What I've learned about life is this. Nobody gaf about you and what you value more than you. Self reliance is key.

There's no trust, faith or love in adult relationships anymore. It's just convenience masked with smiling lies. That's it. And that's okay because before you met her, you were fine and you'll be fine again once this shit mess is over with. It's the natural order, balance and it's inevitable.

Retruo · 2026-06-27T05:58:04+00:00

Calm down, mate. Logically speaking, her leaving (supposedly negative) is not more of an indication of your worth than her being with you for 11 years (supposedly positive). However, you should not base your self-worth on external things because it's not a solid ground to be. People and their opinions are always shifting and you'd be facing an existential system crash if they don't think well of you.

You have to develop inner self-worth and listen only to your internal voice, which should be positive. How you develop positive self-view is up to you, but know that it is crucial to stabilize your organism and operating system. It's the first and foremost thing you should do - forget about everything else.

Title	How do I Become ok with Myself?
Author	Rileslay
Upvotes	6
Comments	8
Date	June 27, 2026 5:22 AM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ugtxer/how_do_i_become_ok_with_myself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-do-i-become-ok-with-myself.1583711 https://theredarchive.com/post/1583711

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