How do you get enough courage to pull the trigger

trust_issues__ · 2025-12-26T02:59:17+00:00

Hardest thing in the world..

probebeta · 2025-12-24T03:41:06+00:00

Mine was 4 when I decided to call it quits. I could be wrong since this isn't always true, but when she's a b* and doesn't pull the weight it's a sign that she's checked out and possibly has lined up a potential replacement. I'd hire a lawyer right away and quietly plan your exit. I wouldn't pull the trigger until you have all the details you need, but I wouldn't sleep on it too long either. Sticking for the kids rarely works when youre walking on eggshells and get no peace at home.

47omek · 2025-12-24T03:05:23+00:00

I kept a daily parenting log of who was taking care of the children with 15 minute granularity for 4 years after our son (second child) was born because very soon after his birth I became very sure that we would be divorcing. With that in hand I felt I could confidently fight off her attempts to claim she was primary parent (I had been solo parent 65% of the time in my log). At 4 and 6 I felt the kids were old enough to handle time apart from either of us and I filed. Went into mediation knowing I had my parenting journal in my back pocket and that I'd take NOTHING less than 50/50 parenting time unless a judge ordered it after a trial. During mediation I was able to get that 50/50 parenting time with some financial concessions (of course, it's always about money with these types) after starting to pack up and leave when she was balking at 50/50 prior.

Now 6 years after divorce was final, I have them a good bit more than 50% de facto as I cover a lot of the activities that occur on her parenting time.

Just remember, as a man in "family" court - you have to prepare ahead of time to win by a mile just to make sure that after the system gets through with you, you win by an inch.

Every_Hospital_6933 · 2025-12-24T01:21:18+00:00

I'm waiting until my youngest leaves for college which will be in less than 3 years. My wife is an attractive woman. I have finally reached the point that I don't even want to have sex with her. She will be drunk as usual. The lead up to sex with her always involves mean jabs towards me and/or my siblings. Touching myself in the shower is more safer and rewarding.

NilesGuy · 2025-12-23T22:11:39+00:00

OP start to familiarize divorce laws in your state with chatgpt, then consult with attorney . When your ready draw up a fair settlement agreement with joint 50/50 custody. File the paperwork in court & present her the agreement. Let her know calmly its best for the both to part ways. Hopefully, she’ll be willing to negotiate with you directly to keep cost down since using lawyers are extremely expensive.

danroyj · 2025-12-23T22:11:20+00:00

IMO, you should get out of the house and into a furnished rental for a month. Go minimal contact with your wife during that time, set up a reasonable child visitation schedule, and then revisit the divorce conversation. You’re too close to the situation right now to think clearly or see the bigger picture.

jimsmythee · 2025-12-23T21:43:03+00:00

It’s called “you reach you breaking point.”

In my case, it was when my now exwife go into yet another great big DUI crash. Except this time, the kids were in the car when she crashed while driving high as a kite on pills.

She got the dui conviction and jail time. She had $7500 in DUI fines plus a loan her to parents for $3000 for the dui atty.

I came home from work (she refused to work) and was there with her mom with her hands out. They wanted $10,000 we didn’t have to pay off the dui fines and pay back her parents. She gave me an ultimatum, either I borrow the money from my mother to pay it, or I can get a second job to pay it.

That was my straw that broke the camels back. I filed for divorce.

You should have heard her scream at the top of her lungs when the divorce papers came.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2025-12-23T21:35:29+00:00

Attorney first and prepare per their advice or anything else you feel you need to do to secure your and your sons future, including visitation. Get the upper hand right out of the gate

Epic_Ranting_Man · 2025-12-23T21:34:53+00:00

Well, you could always stick around while things get worse. Getting it over with is worth it. If you could look into the future and see how settled, relieved, and dare I say happy you would be...you would start the proceedings asap.

ForQueenandCountry82 · 2025-12-23T21:32:09+00:00

You have to get tired of being sick and tired Took me years to finally pull the trigger.

Sea_Recognition7635 · 2025-12-23T21:26:51+00:00

Call that attorney asap. How old is your son? I went a year without my now ex allowing me to see our son.

Title	How do you get enough courage to pull the trigger
Author	SpatulaShield
Upvotes	17
Comments	18
Date	December 23, 2025 9:22 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1pu5iag/how_do_you_get_enough_courage_to_pull_the_trigger/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-do-you-get-enough-courage-to-pull-the-trigger.1569542 https://theredarchive.com/post/1569542

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