Longterm separation

joemoorcarz · 2023-04-16T21:09:01+00:00

Unfortunately while separated in many states your still responsible for each other's bills. Also in states where infidelity is a crime you could be charged. It's generally best to just get it over and file the divorce.

TheBoyBand · 2023-04-17T02:18:41+00:00

You don’t need her mtfkn permission to divorce, you live in limbo because you want to, take control and file immediately offer a fair MSA to part ways and default judgement. She sounds like a fkn cake eater.

SeminoleTom · 2023-04-16T20:40:27+00:00

I don’t know much either but looking forward to reading the comments from others (learning). How many years have you been married? My lawyer does not recommend a separation. He said it’s basically the same as the divorce, and you are responsible for each of the bills, so why not just pull the trigger?

out-the_door · 2023-04-17T12:50:06+00:00

Separated 2 years with no attempt at reconciliation, you concern about costs and benefits.

There's so much emphasis on financials on these subjects, and much less attention paid to the emotional aspects.

I was 62 when I went thru it. Most of your old friends and family are gone. There was a lot of loneliness, getting thru the holidays alone, not celebrating Christmas, missing the kids, etc.

Financials is one thing. Losing quality of life is the bigger loss.

sicrm · 2023-04-16T23:57:12+00:00

separating is almost always a waste of time.

if someone doesn’t want to reconcile, let them go and file yourself if they won’t.

Alatornio · 2023-04-16T22:41:19+00:00

Long term separation could really impact alimony situations.

Are you religious? My guess is she does not want the stigma of divorce.

MatrixDweller · 2023-04-17T02:31:01+00:00

The biggest impact would be your estate if you die.

Depending on where you live there could be rules around wills and inheritance. ie: when you die she gets a portion or everything. That could include all or part of your home, any savings, 401K, a pension, etc, etc.

Having a separation agreement filed with the court and a new will can help mitigate that risk but a divorce and new will make a solid.

ijustdontcare74 · 2023-04-17T05:04:42+00:00

Just remember that in some jurisdictions your finances are still intertwined when separated. For example if she ran up huge depts you might still be liable for those. Best to get a full split and force her out into the world on her own. Let her find out just how much “fun” it is. A grey divorce is not a pleasant prospect but I think I’d prefer that to having her be able to fuck up my life beyond my control. Saying that longterm separation can work. My parents were separated for 15yrs prior to getting divorced. The difference was it was totally amicable and they both were very sensible. However that was a different time and people had morals back then.

ciscokid12345 · 2023-04-17T05:40:13+00:00

she gets to keep your health insurance if you are separated.

the way i understand it, the only time you should consider legal separation is when your religious beliefs will not permit a divorce or your ex has cancer and you’re willing to let her finish chemo before dropping the hammer.

No_Analyst_5235 · 2023-04-17T10:59:03+00:00

My ex wanted to separate and held the carrot that maybe we would reconcile in the future . I looked into the advantages and disadvantages and coincidently the only advantage was to her. I’d be responsible for her health insurance. I told her that if she wanted to Separate , fine , but I’m moving toward divorce . I move forward , not backward .

I didn’t see any benefit for being separated but every situation is different . It seems like another tool women use to manipulate men when they have no intention of reconciling .

playerknowmore · 2023-04-17T20:56:23+00:00

I don't believe in separation. To many of my friends used it to fuck around. The problem is that their wives used it as a hall pass, too.

My wife asked for a six month separation. I gave her the settlement I had drawn two weeks before she was set to go to her mother's house. She freaked out and asked if I still love loved her. I told her that I loved her, but I didn't need her. Actually, I was fed up with her narratives. At the time, I was working ten hours a day. She acted like our teenagers were helpless. It may have been okay for her to work like a dog as they watched, but I wasn't rewarding them with Nikes while they didn't lift a finger.

Her mother even laid into her about leaving a good man. I didn't know my mother in law liked me. I think between her mother and how sure I was that I would survive divorce scared her.

I'm guessing the division of assets will not go in her favor. Be careful she might have already talked to an attorney. Division of assets she'd ve screwed. But if she stays married until she dies, she can leave everything to her new boyfriend. Whom I'm guessing is way younger than you. Never make any decisions about divorce without speaking to an attorney.

Title	Longterm separation
Author	legendarystardustcby
Upvotes	9
Comments	13
Date	April 16, 2023 8:24 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/12onn9g/longterm_separation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/longterm-separation.1214764 https://theredarchive.com/post/1214764

Comments