Looking into calling it quits

Medical_Number8972 · 2024-09-04T13:32:45+00:00

Get a good lawyer, you shouldn't owe her a dime of alimony. No job skills is her problem not yours. As stated by some one else. A simp will come along easily if she is still somewhat attractive.and doesn't weigh 200 plus pounds.

Big_Calendar_4170 · 2024-09-03T23:49:19+00:00

You’re probably looking at 1 year of alimony for every 3 years of marriage, so approximately 7 years of alimony unless you can come to an agreement or another deal. For example, maybe she gets more in divorce settlement or gets a major asset. Your +80K versus her being assessed at minimum wage would probably result in an alimony payment between $700-$900 per month.

Ancient-Homework7557 · 2024-09-03T16:49:31+00:00

BPD is serious and a hellish world to live in. Leave the victimhood and join a neighborhood where you’re treated properly. Good luck.

soontobesolo · 2024-09-03T15:41:33+00:00

I can't speak to alimony in OH, but please read my general advice here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f4yhuc/my_advice_to_those_starting_down_this_path/

Is her mental illness diagnosed? Do you have lots of evidence of behavior that would endanger the kid?

Barefootrunner101 · 2024-09-03T15:21:48+00:00

Who cares how much it costs financially. 22 years of hell then your dead. She’ll find another simp real quick

This_Train340i · 2024-09-03T15:12:08+00:00

A mental disability that prevents a wife from working is quite different than the reasoning justifying alimony where it is presumed the wife voluntarily gave up a career to be a SAHM. Of course the courts won't listen to this argument and order alimony in your case anyway, somewhere around $3k/month for at least 15 years and maybe even life. The system is so unfair to men, but fortunately a lot of men are waking up to the fact that there is nothing in it financially to get married ... it is ALL downside even without the risk of having half your shit taken and your income garnished for life.

Beamformer · 2024-09-03T15:01:52+00:00

Major mental issues as in qualify for disability?

Courts, unfortunately, key off precedence. So they will often by default just look at the level of support lifestyle you have been providing. Secure your finances, mine cleaned out our savings before moving out. You are in a state that allows at fault divorces, but that can still come down to the lawyers and judges you end up with. I would talk to a local lawyer but not alert the spouse to it.

Internal-Wolverine13 · 2024-09-03T14:58:46+00:00

Your best bet is to get her working again before filing for divorce. Put in place austerity measures - direct your paycheck to a new account only you have access to. Close any joint credit cards that she has access to. Cancel all streaming services that are entertaining her during the day while she's doing nothing and you're working. Consider cancelling internet access even. You do all of the grocery shopping yourself going forward and only get things that you and your child like, not STBX. Give her a small Target gift card each month for her needs and a prepaid gas card each month for fueling her car, and that's it. Send the message that if she wants anything more than the bare minimum existence, princess is going to have to put her big girl pants on and get a job. The gravy train is over. You have a lot of leeway on what you can do before divorce is filed (especially many months/years prior), but once it's filed you won't be able to make many financial changes while the divorce is pending, so get out in front of it. Don't give her any warning that divorce is in the cards, do not use the "D" word whatsoever. Explain away the austerity measures as belt-tightening so that you can afford to help your children with college, or something like that.

Or as the other poster commented, see if you can get her to agree to move to a state with no/limited alimony.

bizbunch · 2024-09-03T14:50:29+00:00

Are you seeking mental health help? At least a therapist? I would start there for yourself, maybe seeing you take the initiative will help her take that step.

Talk to an attorney, some will give you 30 min or so as a consult.

TXJohn83 · 2024-09-03T14:49:22+00:00

If you are going to plan this and your oldest kid is about out of high school... Have you thought about moving to a state that does not have alimony? Like for example it does not happen in Texas, and you would only need to be in state for six months.

Title	Looking into calling it quits
Author	Grabthor76
Upvotes	13
Comments	15
Date	September 3, 2024 2:11 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1f80xvi/looking_into_calling_it_quits/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/looking-into-calling-it-quits.1529260 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529260

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