Lump sum Settlement/CS/Maintenance?

FUMoney · 2022-12-11T17:19:37+00:00

Stupid move for a 50% haircut. Fight, get your court order.

Gattsama · 2022-12-11T16:05:43+00:00

Going lump sum has it's strengths and is often a good choice. But not at a 50% loss!?! That just seems way to big a hit. Ultimately what I hear you saying is 'this is really hard and she's making it worst, I just want it done and I'm willing to get a 50% loss to make her life easier.' take a lump some for 90-95% (more standard). But in the end do what you think is best for yourself and your kids.

IMHO short term mental win for long term financial hit isn't a good trade.

BurnDownTheMission68 · 2022-12-11T16:53:55+00:00

What sucks is giving her the lump sum rewards her tactics like filing the OP.

Might be worth the fight since she wants to take it to the alley.

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-12-11T17:36:09+00:00

You can't negotiate CS away. The state will always implement CS state guidelines if either party petitions the court, regardless of whatever marital settlement agreement you have. So if you agree to not have CS in exchange for a larger share of the marital estate, after the divorce is final you can still get CS. I'm not advocating that, just making you aware this is what happens all the time but usually its the father who gets fucked over.

For spousal support, yes you can settle for a lump sum instead of an ongoing payment. There are pros and cons. Pros: If she dies, you get no alimony after divorce. You get a large amount to rebuild your life now, rather than a steady stream for X number of years. If you decide to remarry before spousal support would have run out, then there is no financial impact to you as alimony tends to stop once the receiving party remarries (or cohabitates, which is more complicated). Cons: You'll receive the lump sum at a substantial discount, probably 60-65% of what you would have received over the years. So if she would have paid you $100k in the future, you'd get paid $60-65k now. Importantly, there are no stipulations on how you spend that money. Just like fathers can't stipulate how mothers spend child support they receive.

RippedOffFather · 2022-12-11T19:10:52+00:00

If you could agree and come to a settlement, you wouldn’t be in this position with her now. In life, people only want to “settle” or negotiate when they are in a position of weakness. It’s usually a ploy to get their ducks in a row, or to save themselves from total defeat.

You cannot tire out. That is her plan. That is her goal. She’s hoping she can start throwing stuff at the wall until you just want to give up or until you get scared of the outcome and rather settle.

captainchippsixx · 2022-12-11T19:42:46+00:00

Always start higher than what you want. I would first consider a combination of lump sum and maintenance if you do go that route.

With her actions I would not negotiate with her and go to court. She will understand better if you say fuck it negotiations are over. She is still working you. Just stop the madness. Tell the judge “ your honor , I have negotiated in good faith but stbx has continuously has not and now has made false statements against me ending the process of negotion. Here are her continuous demands not to pay anything and using threats against to me for .coercion. Your lawyer should be able to draw a picture for the judge that shows this.

CaliDude75 · 2022-12-12T02:53:30+00:00

No kids in my case, but I offered a lump sum settlement (but gave myself 18 months to pay it), and made sure to specifically put no claim on future income in the settlement beyond the lump sum amount. I also released all interest in the house, but she had to take over the mortgage. She initially wanted $100k lump sum. My "best and final" offer was $25k, which she accepted.

If it's in your means to do a lump sum, and it would "close the books" on things, I'd recommend it.

Paterculus523 · 2022-12-12T14:54:35+00:00

I’ve followed some of your posts and comments. It sucks to still love someone who is done with you.

As much as it hurts, do what is best for you and your kids. That is almost never, “give the leaving partner what they want”. You can give her the freedom to move on, but fight for your future happiness and well-being. Demand your standard of life. Don’t attempt to make her happy. You are divorcing because that has failed.

I’m personally on the other side of attempting to make my ex happy though divorce and have had to fight tooth and nail for parenting and CS after what she wanted fell apart.

bediligent · 2022-12-12T20:22:31+00:00

The Court’s purpose is to do what’s best for the kids, suggesting 50% haircut towards CS/maintenance, Is not in the children’s best interest.

Think beyond right now: Our inflation is at a 40 year high, everything you buy costs much more than 12 months ago. Mortgage rates have doubled in 9 months, utilities, and taxes everything costs more. The Government keeps increasing rates to try and slow inflation, it’s not working so next comes a full recession, and job losses. Job losses reduces inflation because demand slows and supply builds up.

Worst case, take the lump sum pays for 50% cost of a house, at double the interest. In a declining housing market. May 2023 you lose your job. Now what happens: Can’t afford your mortgage payments, utilities, taxes, food, clothes, haircuts etc etc etc will your STBXW offer more money???

Likely no, so you have to sell your house at a reduced price and you’re still screwed.

My final decree stated my ex couldn’t take me back to court for 3 years if she’s seeking more CS/Maintenance.

Sure take a partial lump sum, it will buy her some breathing room so in two years when she’s reestablished herself, she’ll be well suited to keep paying what’s rightfully owed to the children.

Title	Lump sum Settlement/CS/Maintenance?
Author	PoppinPMAGs
Upvotes	2
Comments	9
Date	December 11, 2022 3:45 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ziwzdb/lump_sum_settlementcsmaintenance/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/lump-sum-settlementcsmaintenance.1144277 https://theredarchive.com/post/1144277

Comments