Married 10 years and my wife has always complained about my intensity and my yelling with her and the kids. Anger management emotional regulation etc. I have come a long way and therapy and learning tools through cognitive behavioral therapy and she even admits that I’ve improved a lot over the years but recently she used a yelling incident that was in my opinion, no big deal, as an excuse to kick me out. She says “i need to work on myself” and think about what kind of parent I want to be and then maybe I can return it to the house.

For more context, she has threatened divorce and separation many many times over the years. About 10 months ago she started complaining about my weak use and asked me to leave and was very serious about it but I quit weed and I promised to stay off weed. And I’ve been sober the whole 10 months . But now here we are again

At first I said I’m not moving out you’re crazy but then she said if I didn’t, she would leave with the kids and that would be very selfish of me. So in order not to disrupt their lives I went ahead and left . I have been out of the house for exactly 3 weeks and two days . After speaking to five attorneys, I found out she can’t just remove the kids from the house. I can go to family court and have them put back in their home.

However, she keeps saying she wants to work it out and work on the marriage but at the same time she seems extremely happy without me there, she even told my son that everyone seems a lot happier with dad living elsewhere . Also we tried to spend Mother’s Day together as a family and she was disrespectful to me like three times throughout the day. She just doesn’t seem like someone who wants to reconcile

What the fuck is she up to ?

We have couples counseling with a marriage therapist tonight and I’m going to feel it out but at some point during the session I’m gonna let her know I’m coming back home. Because I don’t want to compromise my rights to the home if we are getting a divorce. And also I don’t see what the point of staying away is. If we’re gonna work on the marriage we do it together in the same house not living apart. And I think she’s just being Machiavellian . I think the more time I spent out of the house the more of a chance she could get a judge to keep me out of the house while we sort through a divorce

One attorney said if I go over 30 days it’s considered a tenancy and I’m considered not to reside there anymore

She’s got her mom helping out with all the kids stuff