Mediation advice?

rsmiley77 · 2024-07-17T11:09:41+00:00

If only I had a nickel for every time someone basis their arguments on ‘what she wants’. It doesn’t matter what ‘she wants’ anymore. It’s now what you can get. You only get one shot. You best believe if you were the high earner that she wouldn’t be looking at a ‘cooperative’ divorce.

Mediation isn’t a bad deal for you though. Mediation most of the time is going to be the vanilla standard way. This means if you choose fifty fifty (why wouldn’t you?) that you’ll be paid some for the kids. You’ll also be entitled to spousal from the length of the marriage. Everything else should be almost evenly split with you probably getting slightly more than 50-50.

My bet is once your stbx sees what’s on the table you’ll end up with lawyers and in court but let’s hope not.

Strict-Front-2375 · 2024-07-16T22:47:25+00:00

Just understand nothing in Mediation is binding, so if it's a bad deal, don't sign anything.

As for child support, it'll depend on custody arrangments for how much that'll be, depending on jurisdiction, even 50/50 can have the higher income owe some to lesser income.

If you have kids aged 7, you've probably been married long enough for Alimony.

As for equitable distrubtion of property, it's anything you've gotten during marriage, plus any prior property converted into marital property. There's a chance your condo might be entirely separate property. Most likely worse case, she might have a claim to half the value it's gone up since you were married depending on how you handled finances.

You'll likely have a claim to her retirements and investments, as any money she's made from work while married is marital, and those have likely been funded by said salary.

You should ge ta lawyer though. Or at least, before signing anything, pay a lawyer to look it over and explain the situation as best you can if you want to go cheap.

Flashy-Excitement247 · 2024-07-16T16:32:24+00:00

You are about to get raped. (Financially)

ArtichokeSavings9472 · 2024-07-16T16:03:10+00:00

Mediation are those fun meetings where she gets to hear about all the creative ways she can screw you and take everything you own because “ she put up with a lot and deserves it”

Knave7575 · 2024-07-16T15:23:09+00:00

She is going to try and take the kids away from you. If you get 50%, she is going to have to pay you money, and women generally are not fans of paying child support.

You are at risk of losing your children. The money stuff will sort itself out. Your job is to get 50%. Nothing else matters.

potatotornado44 · 2024-07-16T14:34:47+00:00

My advice don’t go to mediation without an attorney, and if that’s the case, just get an attorney and go the collaborative divorce route.

A mediator is just going to take your money and then when you file, the attorney you use to file your paperwork is going to find all sorts of problems and end up charging you just as much or more as mediator.

Particular_Car7127 · 2024-07-16T13:58:48+00:00

I agree with the others, get a good, smart, experienced lawyer ASAP! The economic disadvantaged party (you) are the winners in a divorce, except those who simp and dont stick up for themselves.

Practical-Island-436 · 2024-07-16T13:39:02+00:00

Stop the freelance work asap, she makes more then you so be prepared for her to try and bleed you dry chances are that mediation is just posturing for future court battles. Do you have an attorney? If not get one, once you don't bend over In that mediation it will be on like donkey Kong.

guy_n_cognito_tu · 2024-07-16T13:37:35+00:00

Wait.......say that again: she makes significantly more than you, yet the idea is that YOU would be required to cover "core expenses", while she pays for extras at her discretion????

My man, she wants a collaborative divorce because she wants to fuck you over. If you got what you should get, you would likely get alimony, child support, and a division of extras equivalent to your income differential. The mediator should uncover this, so long as you don't agree to anything up front.

Title	Mediation advice?
Author	Unlikely-Elk-8819
Upvotes	3
Comments	10
Date	July 16, 2024 1:30 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1e4op3l/mediation_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/mediation-advice.1524432 https://theredarchive.com/post/1524432

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