Mediation question

Grand-Expression-493 · 2022-11-12T22:17:15+00:00

Having any forced connection to this person after the divorce will be soul-destroying.

This rings so much.

Gattsama · 2022-11-13T00:55:35+00:00

What you want is NOT uncommon. AND you can often negotiate a discount if you pay one lump sum up front (5-10%) instead of over 9 years. Even if she won't agree to this, just mediate for non-modifiable support with the option to pay off quickly. Same end result (but no discount). You are now free.

The down side of course is you could invest the money from the house sale, earn interest, and pay her off slowly. AND inflation will decrease (slightly) those dollars as well.

It's almost sock day for me and I'm in the same situation as you. As first I was just going to pay her off and be done with it (home sale). But then I started running the numbers and I could give her 1/3 up front, invest 1/3 into some passive income streams at 7-8% return & ARR 20%, and 1/3 into a plane (I'm a private pilot , on my todo list for 10 years+). IF I did that I would save two years, get a jump start of investments and my plane in a few months. BUT I'm still entangled with her. Still haven't decided yet.

But your plan to just be free is 100% doable. If she wont take a lump sum, must get non-modifiable support, so she can file for a modification ANYTIME prior to final payment.

captainchippsixx · 2022-11-12T22:26:30+00:00

If she doesn’t want to negotiate. Do not give in any freebie grants. Negotiate everything. Maybe try to get it down to 5 years?

throwaway_9876789876 · 2022-11-12T22:36:37+00:00

I'd argue that any tax hit could be offset with the benefit of investment. I'm pretty sure that I read here in CA such a thing you're looking to do would be preferred in the courts, but it's been a bit. Curious to hear where you end up on this.

BeneficialAbalone578 · 2022-11-13T00:16:32+00:00

You haven’t provided any numbers so nobody here can pretend play with the numbers for you. Your lawyer can though, along with the mediator to the extend that it comes to a resolution. Hope that your lawyer is good and try to forget about it for a short time. Nothing is happening right now. Discuss with your lawyer what you’re interested in and tell him to tell you what you can expect. Divorce is a long process and sucks hardcore. On the plus side, you WILL come out on the other side and there WILL be better days.

James1933-75 · 2022-11-13T05:08:22+00:00

I don't get her lawyer's position. She will have to pay taxes on the alimony, you get the deduction ... What am I missing?

tech_2022 · 2022-11-16T03:09:55+00:00

Unless you get 25 percent or more discount on lump sum, don’t agree to it. Although not likely, she may cohabit with someone or die which would end your payments. What state is this ?

jaymo54 · 2022-11-13T01:25:10+00:00

Alimony goes away if she remarry or cohabitate (check local law) so if there’s a chance this could happen inside of 9 years, don’t make a deal

Title	Mediation question
Author	fussyfish
Upvotes	2
Comments	21
Date	November 12, 2022 8:45 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ythvlf/mediation_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/mediation-question.1138840 https://theredarchive.com/post/1138840

Comments