Starting mediation next week. For those whom have been through it.....are there any pitfalls to the following thinking? Please note almost all our assets are retirement funds. I don't want to refinance a cash payout to take on more debt. I want the mortgage to stay as low as possible.

If I offer a larger share of 401K to cover a home equity buyout. Does that make sense? There is something called a quattro where there wouldn't be a penalty, but it will take a while to get the $. It would then be taxed as income like a 401K withdrawal. I understand it would be grossed up a bit, but I would also have refinance fees and home expenses. Maybe there is some meeting in the middle.

Also....do I have home equity buyout thinking correct? Its half the equity of what the agreed on value of the home is? I'm not like buying half the home at retail?

Also......some may remember my first post where I have some evidence of infidelity. The more time passes the harder it is to bottle it up. I should still keep my mouth shut until this over right?