Hi everyone. I was on here a few months ago asking about mediation and other stuff. This sub has been very helpful for me, so I'd like to share my update.

Bottom line is I won. I have the house, protected pre-marital assets, 50/50 custody, no child support, and a fair alimony term.

Mediation was fine, but the second the MSA draft was handed over, their side started trying to change it. We negotiated I buy her out of the house pre-divorce, and they did everything possible to try and stop it. They did this by wrongly suggesting I was leaving her liable for refinanced debt. I was accused of hiding money, insurance fraud, and had my hobbies and interests ridiculed around the parenting schedule I wanted. Then when the negotiations stalled , she changed lawyers. The new guy then accused of not paying support I agreed it (there was no final agreement at the time)

My lawyer was awesome. Patient, to the point, and gave me tough love when I needed it. I never felt like she was racking up hours. The most satisfying victory was her discovering there was no child support obligation. Mediation had said I did. What happened was my ex moved to the next town over and the kids go to my schools. I became the primary residence, so the math showed no child support obligation. Things went nuclear after that, but they folded after a few weeks as there was no legal grounds. They comically asked if I would pay a higher alimony # that is what would have been CS. ummmmm.....no.

In the meantime I repainted the house, got new furniture, and redecorated. It feels a lot better and more mine. It was very negative space for me and I couldn't sleep in the bed for months. With the kids I got new game systems and a foosball table for kids. At first my time with them felt like a competition, I don't feel that way anymore. I hope they see I'm the more stable, less controlling parent. Its more fun.

Also met someone recently and while I'm not looking years down the road, I now see what a healthy relationship can look like.

With all that, I'm not 100% ok. I still have waves of anger over this. When I signed the papers, it was largely a relief. The next day waves of anger again.

My ex? She won't communicate about our kids and its all about her need to control. They agreed to co-parent counseling. Its free with my insurance and will see if communication can get any better. Will see if she participates

I'm still grappling if I should confront about what I know about her infidelity. Its been a major source of my anger and I'm not great on letting shit go.

So that's it. Thanks a lot to this sub. I may stick around for a while, but moving on may also mean separating myself from the topic