Others that are divorced/separate with kids

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2026-05-20T20:13:19+00:00

Yep, I take longer hours and call. When i'm home, I also put on a movie or something in the back ground to "keep me company."

I go to my girlfriends house and do some chores for her, I do ANYTHING that I need to do around my house and my toys.

I listen to A LOT of man empowering pod casts and youtube. Richard Cooper, Kevin Samuel, The Whatever podcasts, Andrew Wilson, Jordan Peterson, etc...

I think EVERY man needs to understand and study intersexual dynamics. Our commitment is the single most important decision we make and we don't study SHIT about it. It's crazy! We study for a decade straight for a career yet we don't take a single class on intersexual dynamics.

darmitage55 · 2026-05-20T16:50:43+00:00

That transition is brutal. Especially coming off nights straight into dad mode, your body and brain are already wrecked before the quiet even hits.

Honestly what helped me most was just not fighting the quiet. Took a while to stop dreading it and start using it. Even 20 minutes of something that's just *yours*, a walk, a show, cooking something dumb, it doesn't fix it but it breaks the freefall a little.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2026-05-18T23:18:41+00:00

Get a casual girlfriend or throw in some dates to spice life up. Whatever hobbies you had before, do them again.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-05-18T18:28:03+00:00

A dog is a must. I'd suggest a poodle mix as they don't shed and they are all cute AF. Your kiddos will love it too.

capnjackstation · 2026-05-18T16:39:43+00:00

Yeah the silence in the house is deafening. Force yourself to go out on your non custody time. Meet people. Get out of your comfort zone. Get laid. Take up golf. Make some male friends. Most of us lose ourselves being a husband and dad. Once you make new friends and a life for yourself don’t give it up for any woman again.

c_m_33 · 2026-05-18T15:54:22+00:00

It takes a minute to get used to that. I’ve come to enjoy the quiet.

On the flip side, it’s gotten a bit harder now too. Usually, I focus on spending time with the kids, so when I don’t have them, I’m playing catchup: laundry, dishes, yard work, etc. That keeps me busy in the downtime. I’ll go fishing too. Actually thought I would have a lot more time to fish but I have less now. Being a single parent and managing a household is no easy task

TheDavenessPhD · 2026-05-18T11:58:48+00:00

It's the transition that's hard, like the noise that you miss because you're not used to a quiet house, then all of a sudden it's deathly quiet. Going from nightshift into dad mode sounds particularly trying. But you are doing it.

The change is jarring. I don't know about you, but my life gets into a rhythm. Yours has been upended.

Start assessing the things that you do. Do they bring you joy or peace? If the answer is no, just cut them back, and then one by one start adding things in, until you feel like that rhythm is back again.

serkovavantgarden · 2026-05-18T08:34:33+00:00

I love it. Men need some lonesome time.

UnknownUsername113 · 2026-05-18T04:01:04+00:00

It gets easier.

I own a business so while my kids aren’t with me, I’m often working until 10pm. When they are with me, I try to give them 100%. I’m a much better dad now.

I’m an introvert, and it sounds like you might be too. I thrive on quality time with people I love but it also wears me out mentally. I think of myself as a battery. I recharge while I’m by myself and then deplete all that saved energy while I’m with them. I never made time for that before the divorce. Both my relationship with my kids and my business have thrived because I’m able to devote focus to each of them with no overlap. You’ll get there.

ComprehensiveWork451 · 2026-05-18T01:33:08+00:00

There is light at the end of the tunnel. I struggled with this empty house particularly, and often simply went to the bar. Eventually started some hobbies and clubs which were great distractions. But truly eventually the therapy and exercise have helped the blues. Now I look forward to my night off because I can socialize or not or do whatever I want. Stay with it, you’ll get there

Title	Others that are divorced/separate with kids
Author	SilentCardiologist20
Upvotes	7
Comments	13
Date	May 17, 2026 11:04 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1tg4sur/others_that_are_divorcedseparate_with_kids/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/others-that-are-divorcedseparate-with-kids.1580633 https://theredarchive.com/post/1580633

Comments