My wife and I have been separated for about 1.5 months and I’m finally getting around to actually talking to a lawyer about filing (appt is this week). Since separating she has been very nice and cordial I think mostly for our son’s sake but also to “show me that she’s changed” from her verbally abusive and emotional affair behavior. We’ve had one marriage counseling session last week which ended up with her crying because I laid out everything on her. Basically told her and the therapist that I’m not headed down the path of reconciliation, but I’m still not sure she quite gets the picture. Luckily the therapist was very objective and not unsupportive of my position and was more or less coaching my wife to prepare herself in case things don’t work out the way she wants them to.

Now to my question, I plan on actually getting the information together this week for my lawyer to file but I’m wondering if I should inform my wife a little bit ahead of time? I know a lot of people on this sub tend to do it behind their backs and slap the paperwork on the table without warning but I feel like giving her a heads up (not too much) might prepare her a little bit for what is to come and prevent a huge blowup when the time comes. Thoughts?