Refusing to play in order to win

UseResponsible4368 · 2024-02-29T00:46:07+00:00

> What I did was take her to urgent care so they could prescribe something to treat a UTI. They gave her an antibiotic. It was an urgent care that she had been to previously, and I even requested that they look back at her chart to prescribe her the same drug.

EDIT: I realized this is your daughter. You may want to have a conversation with her.

When I was in the 10th Grade , I got a "UTI" and got antibiotics. Or so the doc told my parents.

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2024-02-22T18:02:14+00:00

Some women try to suck you back in with false accusations for years. Document, document and document. Just have realistic expectations throughout and keep it moving. Don't let it take it out of you cause for being the best father you can be to your daughter. As for as you daughter's college, give your lawyer a call. I just kept her at bay as I was trying to heal. I endured 4 years of judgement and crap. Stay the course.

wisstinks4 · 2024-02-22T13:18:29+00:00

Your ex is an evil woman. Tell your lawyer your ex is wasting the courts time, resources and your limited funds on these frivolous bs claims.

Keep saying this, “only until 18”. Hopefully your ex moves to mars and the return flight gets cancelled due to front on the wings. Be safe.

Subtle-Catastrophe · 2024-02-22T05:09:53+00:00

"Grey rock" is very good general advice. It thwarts most initial craziness.

Certain types of people, though, can require stronger responses to halt their insane attacks. Some of them also grow savvy to countering even the most solid "grey rock" response--it seems yours may be one of them.

In such circumstances, a change in stance is necessary. Tit-for-tat is, regrettably, a very effective strategy. It has been proven so in game theory and scientific statistical simulations. Perhaps the best defense is a good offense. I know your divorce is already finalized, but you can still hire a lawyer to put a stop to this madness. She should be ordered to pay his fees and costs.

47omek · 2024-02-22T04:43:30+00:00

Don't dick around trying to placate her. Aim to get this in front of a judge as quickly as humanly possible. If mediation is required, sit for the minimum required amount of time and tell her and the mediator "We'll see what the judge says." Let her know that you can't wait for her to get up in front of a judge and explain how getting your daughter prescribed an antibiotic for a UTI is dangerous. She'll get laughed out of the courtroom. Motion for her to have to pay your attorney costs from this frivolous idiocy if possible.

Visual_Cycle_1066 · 2024-02-22T04:35:20+00:00

Grey rock is still the way my brother.

Let your excellent lawyer engage and swing the sword.

SkeptiCynical · 2024-02-22T03:38:15+00:00

Ignore the noise as best you can. Do what you can to get the divorce done as quickly as possible, and choose your battles carefully.

Your wife is like my ex - she's Joker from The Dark Knight. If you remember the line, and I'll paraphrase:

"Because some people aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some people just want to watch the world burn."

Because she is not a super-villain, your wife have to respond to the only thing a borderline recognizes: force. Legal force. So do these next steps carefully, and in this order:

Make a new email account only for communication with her.
Tell her in email that you don't want her to call or text you anymore. The only way she's allowed to communicate with you is via email.
You don't need a reason for this. You don't have to explain yourself.
When she calls or texts you, remind her that she cannot call or text you.
The second time she calls you, hang up on her and ignore the texts. Don't block her though.
Now you march on down to family court and petition the court for a restraining order (TRO / temporary restraining order, or refrain-from, depending how your court words it). You will get a temporary restraining order on the same day, along with a court date in 2 weeks for OSC (order to show cause).
You don't need to define, describe or elaborate anything beyond 'this is harassing, I've asked her to stop, and provided an email address to keep our communication civil. She is violating a reasonable request and creating an uncomfortable environment for us to navigate this divorce'.
Do not notify her that you have a restraining order against her. The sheriff will serve her the restraining order and the court appearance notice.
Keep that restraining order on you at all times. It is your personal Magna Carta.
If she calls or texts you for any reason before the court date, you call the police and she is arrested.

She won't like it. You may interrupt her rage for a few milliseconds, long enough for her to rethink how she conducts herself. She may double down - but now you have a family or criminal restraining order against her and she will appear to be a lunatic during the next court hearing.

Source: this is what I did and it works to keep vindictive, aggressive borderline behavior in check. I had a 12-month criminal restraining order against my wife during our actual divorce trial. She wasn't allowed to speak in the courtroom, not even her own name and address. I didn't hear her voice for 12 glorious months, and the divorce got done pretty quickly once that RO was in place.

Intimacy4u · 2024-02-22T03:00:03+00:00

Consider factual information without fluff words or cutting off chance of follow questions.

Almost like a court letter. Precise Dates, times and relevant info.

Daughter age 17 Doctor ………..,

prescribed ………….. Diagnosis - UTI

You can leave contact details of medical staff Centre.

Let her deal with the Authoritative figure or care centre directly. You’re not a medical professional.

Short , sweet and to the point, Facts only. Zero emotion.

Title	Refusing to play in order to win
Author	Friendly-Maximum9412
Upvotes	22
Comments	9
Date	February 22, 2024 2:22 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1awuwjb/refusing_to_play_in_order_to_win/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/refusing-to-play-in-order-to-win.1246074 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246074

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