My (M48) STBXW (F50) and I are at the tail end of an amicable divorce. Papers should be ready in a month or so. I'm not reconciling.

I moved into an apartment in May of 2025, and met a wonderful woman (F45) back in September.

Background: Occasionally, during MY time with my kids, I'll need to meet with my ex and discuss practical things like taxes, the divorce, my things that are still in the garage and co-parenting.

This became a problem after a few months. Gina took issue with the way I interface with my ex. (My ex and I get along very well. Gina and her ex do not talk and are still going through a very messy divorce.) Gina finally went scorched Earth because she wasn't willing to accept the interactions with my ex and I wasn't willing to shun all contact with my ex just because she instructed me to. So it was simply a mismatch of needs and it's over. This was a little over two weeks ago.

My main problem now: I have no problem admitting that Gina and I connected so fast and so deeply because we both needed comfort. Now Gina is gone and I'm mired in that feeling again. I'm doing everything right on paper. I still go to the gym before work, I take walks, (so many freaking walks) I go to classes at the gym sometimes, when I do eat I eat healthily, I get good sleep and I see a therapist every two weeks.

But FUCK I'm lonely and sad. After 25 years of being married, we were home bodies and don't live near any familial support system. I have ZERO friends. I get off of work and either go walk or lay in bed. I have no hobbies I'm interested in anymore, I just stare at the ceiling and I ruminate on EVERYTHING. I worry about money so I don't go out, and if I eat it's not much. I just feel lost. I'm an adult so I know how to keep myself alive, but I can't hack these intrusive thoughts, anxiety and fear. In the evenings I numb everything with weed because I can't handle it. I'm not mourning the loss of Gina too much, it's more of the uncertain future staring me down.

Anybody else in the same boat? Connecting with someone hard right after a split only to have it blow up? Thank you for reading, I think getting this out helped me a little.