I got served yesterday in front of a lot of people I care about. It sucked. I live in a very small place where everyone knows everyone's business so a sheriff hanging around and asking where i was of a lot of people was humiliating. About a week after my wife split, she moved half of the checking and savings to her own account (about 50k). When she left, she moved seven hours away so she effectively gave up her jobs here. Somehow, she managed to buy a car at over $26,000 with a six -year note at $393 a month. We also bought a house at the end of last year.

She has continued to use the joint credit cards, even putting a $1,000 down on the car with one of them. She has continued to use them for different things though nothing really outrageous. When I brought the car up and that it had become a marital asset, she got really pissed and told me I was being petty. I wasn't trying to be at that moment, just merely pointing out that because of when she bought it that was the case. This is not to say that I haven't been petty because I am reeling and my emotions go up and down. One minute, I am trying to work with her and the other I am just so angry.

A large portion of the money we have is from an inheritance from my father ($120,000). We used it to buy the house (40 grand down) and some other appliances for the house. My wife insists that we used this inheritance which makes no sense. Any money we have spent could just as easily have been money we had coming in from work. She had a car prior to being married, but I helped pay the note on that and it's what she traded in to get the new car. I don't know how a judge will work all of that out. She also took the dog with her even though I was the primary caregiver.

My wife has a very serious mental condition (BPD) that has affected our relationship since the beginning. She will change things that happened in her head to a completely different story to shift blame as well as moods that shift on a dime. In addition, she had some serious childhood trauma that has not been treated that might be the root cause of the BPD and certainly of the PTSD she experiences.

I live in a state that is equitable so the distribution of funds does not have to be equal. The judge can do it at his discretion based on where most of the money came from. I did put the money into a joint account so I don't know if that nullifies it, but the lawyer I spoke to said it did not. I don't know as I read different things online about that. She cited irreconcilable differences so I plan to fight it, even hoping for counseling and or mediation.

Any advice for me? Thoughts? Just really sad and angry right now. It is hard to function.