Found out after 14 years of marriage she had a bunch of credit cards and a loan building up for the last 7 years. This was not the only issue over the years from either of us. Just the last straw.

The two months since I moved out have been a little rough. I have been very upfront about what I wad doing since finding out about the debt. Took about three weeks first to decide I could not trust her anymore. She continued to lie about the situation and play the victim to anyone who would listen.

I got a lawyer and gave her all the standard custody, child support for our two kids and the “good” car. We do not have much else to fight over. She has been very manipulative, using sex to try to keep us together. Going from the doting wife to threatening to stick me with her debt and refusing to go along with the divorce.

I got her to sign the final paperwork by agreeing to go with her on a vacation I booked for her birthday months ago. Its not refundable or changeable. And will only be the third major vacation I have been on in my life. So I dont want to miss it. But I also dont want to deal with all the awkward situations and several days of her trying to manipulate me into staying with her.

I still love her I suppose. But it has never been this level of overwhelming obsession she seems to have with me. She has a much larger sex drive than me so that has never been much of a problem. Except years ago when she wasn’t getting it enough.

But I can’t trust her. And she has only continued to prove that since the financial stuff came to light. I am pretty sure she had hacked my phone somehow and had or has access to many of my accounts. Pretty sure she got into my new apartment by getting the door code from one of my daughters. I have changed the code and no longer tell them what it is.

She has tried to use my mental illness against me and tried to say I dont know what I want or I am being paranoid about this stuff. Eavesdropping on online counseling sessions and trying to blame my therapist for breaking us up. And of course there are years of other psycho behaviors and other issues I won’t get into.

I have been able to shut down her sexual advances for the last couple of months. But there is no way I will be able to hold out on this trip sleeping in the same bed as her. I do not have the money to book another hotel.

I keep feeling myself slipping back into the just letting all this shit go mindset. I worry I will end up regretting this for a variety reasons. I will miss the companionship and regular sex. A support system.

But I did the majority of the chores around the house so my place is way cleaner. I won’t miss that. I am not sure she will ever stop trying to push us back together. And her behavior is only going to get worse.

She has been trying more over the past few years, (since the last time I moved out and tried to divorce her,) to play games with me so we had something more to do together. So I feel like I will be losing some of the things people often complain about on here. The no sex or whatever, she wasn’t cheating. But I am pretty sure the cons list is way longer and more serious.

I am also 41 years old. Not in great shape. Not a whale, but I am on bipolar medication, have bad eating habits and some other health problems that will make getting fit pretty difficult. And I am pretty introverted so meeting someone in the future may be tough.

Someone tell me I am doing the right thing.