I hired a lawyer August 2022 because I knew my STBXW would be very difficult. I am retired military. I make about $260k and she makes about $150k. I saved $450k and have $225k in my 401k. She has saved $5k and has $20k in debt. She also has $350k in her 401k. Married for 12 years, house, and two kids under 10.

I worked with my lawyer to do the Martial Settlement Agreement (MSA). I was also collecting evidence of the my wife’s behavior such as text to friends about hot guys while on vacation and pictures she sent friends of her in a thong bikini on a boat with men. I also took pictures of her conversations with friends that she said she hated me and that she spoke to our marriage counselor and the counselor told her to start saving money to leave the marriage. I even took pictures of all her expensive purses and clothes to show where she spends her money. I kept all of this evidence I obtained by knowing the password to her phone. I finally submitted the MSA via my lawyer let’s say January 1st. I ask if we should file first and my lawyer said it doesn’t matter and filing first doesn’t do anything and there are no grounds. I give my STBX a while to find counselor and she still doesn’t respond. A month later I find out she filed. Her grounds were cruelty and abandonment (I still live in the house). I was upset because my lawyer should have known what was going on. My lawyer also stated I didn’t know you made $100k more than her, I thought your incomes were similar. I said I told you that(strike 1).

Now we are doing all sorts of paperwork and I counter with adultery in the counter claim. I’m upset because my STBX found grounds so now we are doing adultery. I even told my lawyer before that we got into an argument about her vacation activity and she said “okay i fucked them if that is what you want to hear”. My lawyer said she said that just to get a rise out of me.

Paperwork is going back and forward and I noticed my lawyer sent her lawyer the text and pictures I sent to show what type of person she is. I told my lawyer those pictures and text weren’t meant to be shared. I told you I got them in an unethical manner by going through her phone. My lawyer said the court doesn’t care how you got them. I felt blindsided by my lawyer (strike 2?)

I am actually happy that my lawyer did send those texts out because my STBX said earlier when she goes on those girls trips… she means conferences she is just teaching women how to build their brand and how to style themselves, which is part of her small business. But in a text to her friend she told her friend about she was smoking weed , partying, and getting really wasted the whole vacation.

I have my hearing soon and my lawyer is telling me to move out. I told my lawyer doesn’t moving out look bad. My lawyer said if I move out I can show the court I don’t have money to pay temporary alimony. I also have to work with my STBX to see the kids and if she doesn’t then it looks bad on her. I told my lawyer I know this is your job and my life looks to you like burgers to a fast food worker but I don’t feel comfortable moving out of my house (strike 3?). My lawyer also said take pics of her fancy assets. I said I did that earlier and you said it was petty. My lawyer said now I want to be petty.

Should I get another lawyer?