So stupid…

smitty537 · 2021-06-04T23:51:42+00:00

Once you get a newer, younger, fresher girl, you'll forget all about who your ex is seeing.

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-06-05T00:10:04+00:00

Because she's living rent-free in your head. Time to evict her.

Girl_Dad42 · 2021-06-05T01:04:15+00:00

Same was happening to me until I just got it through my head that the marriage was over and I don’t care anymore. It took awhile to get to that point.

oli_21_ · 2021-06-05T01:24:02+00:00

It's a process. A hard and long process. The emotional ties husbands have to their wives is so strong.

In my case she cheated on me. You play these weird "If only" games.

For me....I wanted to leave no stone unturned. I'll just tell you that it was good and horrible.

She had a boyfriend the whole time we were going through divorce. She's still with him and my 3 year old son told me the other day me, mommy, and Josh went to the zoo.

All I can say in the long hard process.....is that no matter what anything thinks....no matter the opinions......I did all I wanted. I got all I wanted. It worked out for me. It was some of the hardest twilight zone shit I ever experienced in my life. Literally asking myself "is this real life right now?"

To answer you question though......you care because you invested. Time...effort....provision......as men that's what we do. It's built into our software.

Likewise.....most if not ALL women have built into their software to move on to someone else.

To rewrite the software is near impossible.

Just keep pushing through........one step forward. This is a game of inches.....many times we get stuffed at the goal line.....but we keep pushing!

All the best to you friend. Know you're not alone.

tessellationarium · 2021-06-05T01:50:09+00:00

In rehab, substance abusers are often told that if they do not replace their abuse with something wholesome or fulfilling, then they will fall back to their old ways. Similarly, love and relationships are addicting in a sense (for a majority, others might argue differently). So getting out of that situation and building a new and better environment is what is going to need to happen for you, I would say. In my personal experience, I like to fill my day with as many activities so as to distract me from having thoughts of former relationships. Eventually you might find a new SO that could replace your former SO in all the right ways and more. Obviously it’s good to mourn and grieve. But I would suggest that keeping a good balance between grieving and growing is important. That’s just what I’ve taken away from breakups, it could be helpful for you or it may not be. I’m here if you need to talk to someone.

Anaconda1983 · 2021-06-04T23:47:01+00:00

It’s a curse. I have it to.

Wellerman1 · 2021-06-05T02:50:56+00:00

I've never fell for the marriage thing. I worked with blokes who were going through hell. It appears worse once there are kids involved, as the wife will get the house, be taking a chunk of your salary for child support, and you have to start all over again. Mug's game with only one winner.

DJNez · 2021-06-05T02:43:07+00:00

Just give it time. It may take a while until you feel absolutely nothing when you consider that thought but it will come.

Wellerman1 · 2021-06-05T03:50:50+00:00

Once bitten, twice shy. No woman, no cry.

Title	So stupid…
Author	LopsidedGazelle2509
Upvotes	13
Comments	23
Date	June 4, 2021 11:38 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/nsilby/so_stupid/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/so-stupid.816842 https://theredarchive.com/post/816842

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