Just about to get served papers this week. I know it’s coming. We still talk as we have a daughter together. We’ve been living apart for almost a year. We know what we want out of the divorce proceedings as far as asset split and custody. We are still friends and I think that just makes it hurt even more. I still love her but she is done. I always held hope.

Im terrified of my future. I don’t know how I will make it through. Knowing she won’t be there on the couch watching tv with me every night. Being there when I come home and when I wake up. I’m so scared of missing the companionship. I broke down today bawling.

I have been struggling with alcohol throughout our marriage. I’m in a twelve step program and trying to get a grip on it. There was no abuse, I was just absent. And I completely understand where she’s coming from and that’s not an environment for our daughter. I need to get it together. She gave me one too many chances.

I also got laid off three months ago and have been working my ass off trying to find work to no avail.

How will I ever get past this split? Will I ever find companionship again? I miss her so much. I’m scared to be alone forever.