I have seen a number of posts here about men questioning the provenance of their children. A cheating spouse has caused them to wonder if the children they helped raise are theirs. I would like to address this but perhaps not in the way many expect.

I was raised by many progressively alcoholic, abusive men. None were my father, we don't know who he is. When I was 14 one threatened to kill me and very nearly succeeded in that threat. I rode across town on my bike to my best friends house and slept on the deck until Al opened the slider on the porch and asked what the fuck was I doing there, Lucky Strike in hand, dog wagging its tail. I never went back to the place that I left. Al became Dad. He woke me up at 4 am to go fishing, taught me to drive, did all the things a real father is supposed to do and most of all, loved me unconditionally. I was in the airport when I found out he died and I ugly cried in front of thousands of people. He was my Dad.

If you changed their diapers, watched their first steps, put a washcloth on their forehead when sick, held them when their heart was broken, protected them from bullies, took them camping, taught them to drive, then it matters not what a DNA test says. You are their father. The other guy who was never there, a phantom. Your children love you and I know you love your children.

There is a phrase "Blood is thicker than water" but it is only half the phrase. The full phrase is "The Blood of the Covenant is Thicker Than the Water of the Womb."

You raised them, you are there guiding principle. Whatever is happening they are devastated at the destruction of their family. Taske the higher road and continue to be their bright light.