Ex-redpiller but still MGTOW?

Randomguy34455 · 2022-03-03T00:16:12+00:00

Getting away from them was the best decision you could take. Men and woman can be bad, you've happened to trust the wrong person. Good girls exist but it's not easy to find them, as well as it's not easy to find a decent guy anyway. How many men are jerks and assholes ? Plenty. And plenty of girls are just shallow and only want some casual hookup...

Do you really don't want a girl or you're just afraid to suffer again ? I understand this fear, but giving up on girls fearing pain is like burying yourself alive being afraid of death... Pain is part of life. Time can heal your wounds...

RedPillDetox · 2022-03-03T16:21:32+00:00

I still am MGTOW because I will never date a woman ever again, but I will not subscribe to hate based off of my own experiences.

There's actually no problem with this. You you want to refrain from dating because you find it a deeply frustrating experience, and feel like you would be happier focusing your energy elsewhere then i'd say that's actually perfectly fine. As long as you're not starved for emotional connection, or don't hold grudges onto women, or believe the propaganda i'd say that you're mostly fine.

With this said, i'd also agree with most people here when they say that you should keep an open mind at the idea that you should be more trusting of women and just because you had bad experiences with women in the past doesn't mean you should close your heart.

Carloverguy20 · 2022-03-03T00:44:30+00:00

Never say never though, you never know one day, you will find someone who you will like and you may want to date them.

Abusive relationships can affect you long term, but it's okay to get help.

Mothkau · 2022-03-03T07:04:24+00:00

I’m glad to hear you managed to escape from this abusive relationship. I hope you can heal properly, and well done on leaving the red pill!

Yesm3can · 2022-03-04T14:23:40+00:00

Nothing WRONG at all to want to be a happy, lifetime single and preparing your life for that accordingly.

See it like this, some people decided to procreate, some people don't. Some people decided to keep pets, some people don't. Some people decided to value money over free time, some people do the opposite.

You are not wrong or weird or anything like that for abstaining from romantical relationship. I really wish that adamantly single forever people are as celebrated as happy couples.

SupportNo7255 · 2022-03-03T23:39:24+00:00

A thing that really helped me develop my self steem was therapy, you should give it a try!

TackleOk3608 · 2022-03-04T07:04:42+00:00

You don’t need a label or movement to be single. A lot of people throughout history have happily chosen to not date, without needing to join a group dedicated to not dating. You just live your life.

ResponsibleAd2541 · 2022-03-03T01:03:18+00:00

MGTOW?

jejuned · 2022-03-03T01:55:10+00:00

you can not date without aligning yourself with a misogynist hate group, though, can't you? there's no reason to label yourself mgtow and put that chain around your neck. you can just tell people you don't wanna date if it comes up, but you don't even have to do that.

Mysterious-Zone-334 · 2022-03-03T04:30:02+00:00

Bro as a former member of mgtow and the red pill, I'm glad you got out bro. They are so toxic my g. You realized it and got to steppin and also man. You gotta heal from the pain and try to find why. And also find peace with in you first.

And you might find someone who loves you and foesnt treat you like crap bro but until then just try to grow and become the best version of you you can be

Mh882130 · 2022-03-03T05:25:10+00:00

Never dating women again is a pretty big statement.

I’m sorry you have had some very negative experiences.

I’m very much in the camp of MGTOW not with women but with society gov especially gov.

I can’t stand gov yet I work for them cause keep your enemies closer.

Working for gov in tax centre has taught me a lot about how money truly works; how government and its child organizations truly work and how everyone is essentially being played by the most unethical; gluttonous, self sentenced, sinister system ever invented that only takes and rarely gives if ever and certainly not without getting anything back.

But when it comes to women, women are great. Flawed like all humans myself included but wonderful in their perfections and imperfections.

I_like_the_word_MUFF · 2022-03-03T12:51:20+00:00

So this is an earnest question for OP. You're MGTOW because of an abusive ltr. I get that. Almost everyone who ends up in r/divorce usually gives up on relationships for a small period of time.

What makes it permanent for you? I mean, a lot of people come out of abusive relationships and manage to move on, cope, get help, rebuild, and step forward.

I mean, my divorce just destroyed me but I never once believed that the problem was bigger than just my ex.

MaynardRosemary · 2022-03-03T14:33:13+00:00

i feel sorry for your relationship, but stay away from women because you got a horrible experience with one i think is a dumb decision, i suffered of bullyng by both, women and men, and then what should i do in the mgtow logic ? should i left behind the society and stop of create relations with others ? dont give up in loving just because you were in a abusive relationship, outside there are women who were in terrible relationship and think that all the men are like their ex, and thats wrong, you need time to heal your wounds like me, i used to be a mgtow/red pill, till one friend of mine make me realize that i was becoming in a bitter and hateful person, from there my mind began to change.

pollaw98 · 2022-03-03T16:31:00+00:00

I think there’s still a problem with identifying as MGTOW. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with swearing off dating, MGTOW’s core philosophy rests on an absurd level of distrust in women (as well as a paradoxical and unhealthy preoccupation with hating women). MGTOW avoid women because they generalize women into an entire class of potential abusers, manipulators, and angry and vindictive feminists just waiting to tear down a man’s life with a false rape accusation. These beliefs fall into the core of TRP philosophy.

Laura Bates does an excellent job of explaining why MGTOW are just as problematic as other groups in the manosphere in her book “Men Who Hate Women.” If you’re serious about permanently swearing off TRP, consider ditching the MGTOW mindset.

DragonRaptor06 · 2022-03-03T18:55:59+00:00

The thing is, you can actually live a life that MGTOW was supposed to stand for, and not becoming full incel.

I'm glad you got out of an abusive relationship. And to be fair, even though you said you would never date a woman again, your actual soulmate might still be out there. Just don't lose hope. I wish you the best and don't let those fake alpha males manipulate you again.

hippy_speed_ball · 2022-03-03T21:54:25+00:00

I'm down with the spirit of MGTOW but not with the actual group. If you want to go your own way, literally go your own way. You don't need to look to a community for that. It seems rather counterintuitive.

In your circumstance I think it makes way more sense to just say that you are taking a long break from dating and romantic entanglements to do your own thing. That's a pretty normal thing to do after you get out of an abusive or toxic relationship, no pills or MGTOW community needed.

Back when I was 18 and 19 my first partner was psychologically abusive and sexually coercive. My second "partner" took advantage of me at a party when I blacked out drunk and high. I really wish I would have taken some time off from women to focus on myself after that. I ended up in a relationship that wasn't too bad, but was still pretty co-dependent because I really hadn't dealt with the trauma from those first two women.

What I always see in the MGTOW spaces on the internet is constant bitching about women and rampant misogyny. I could easily fall into that myself. I did to a certain degree for a short time, and that's why I'm here on exredpill trying to show guys other ways to deal with this stuff. On a certain level it would be justified, but it's just not productive at all. If you're going to go your own way to heal, focus on really healing, don't let your anger at what someone or a few people did to you grow into something toxic like I've seen on MGTOW forums/ect. It sounds like you won't from what you said about redpill, but it never hurts to put a warning out there that MGTOW can get pretty toxic too when you get into the community of it.

Whether you ever date again or not... who knows. That really isn't something that you should be worried about right now. Time heals all wounds and wounds all heals. There's no way to know how it'll go without moving on and seeing what the future holds. How are your relationships with your friends and family? Hows your relationship with your self? Those are the things that really matter right now.

Title	Ex-redpiller but still MGTOW?
Author	Ithrewallofitaway
Upvotes	16
Comments	29
Date	March 2, 2022 11:56 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/t5duec/exredpiller_but_still_mgtow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/ex-redpiller-but-still-mgtow.1104423 https://theredarchive.com/post/1104423

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