Thinkinking about breaking up with my boyfriend. Should I?

HelloSilverTongue · 2023-02-15T12:03:33+00:00

I made massive mistakes being with guys like this because how they were my 'normal'. We always think we can be the one to help them see the light or change them, but they don't, not without therapy.

Those beliefs are very deep and those beliefs are being seduced out by people who know how to target him and his insecurities better than you ever will. My therapist helped me understand why staying and enabling is so bad for both of you.

Don't 'reward' the bad behaviour. Just like Pavlov's dogs, it can get way worse just by you being 'supportive' of his clear need for support, however, he needs it the most from a professional who can help him understand what they're doing to his thoughts.

Be there at a distance. This is bigger than you. Do not take this on.

I'm so very sorry for what you're going through. The pain can be unbearable some days, but it's less if you get out before it gets crazier (like him justifying physical abuse). If you can get him to read Steve Hassan's books, I highly recommend it.

Sad_Apple_1911 · 2023-02-15T10:11:56+00:00

Never stay with someone who doesn't respect women

NeilsSuicide · 2023-02-15T12:04:41+00:00

please do not stick around for your own sake

ishitinthemilk · 2023-02-15T09:56:11+00:00

Don't stay with someone who doesn't respect women, it'll only get worse.

luvem_aa · 2023-02-15T07:44:37+00:00

Don't wait for him to change, he won't.He will not be a good dad/husband. Break up w him, it's not worth it. I'm sorry for this.

sakuragasaki46 · 2023-02-15T10:14:58+00:00

Do it. Valentine is over.

spiraldinosaur · 2023-02-15T12:16:48+00:00

If you think there is any possibility that he might cut out all of this content, then that would be best for everyone. But you're not obliged to stay with him while he figures it out. If you decide to leave him, it would be worth making it clear to him that this RP content has turned him into someone you don't want to be with. It might knock some sense into him.

nontrad_94 · 2023-02-15T20:19:01+00:00

Hey girl. Just wanted to say I was in your spot last year (were together 4 years) and posted in this forum similarly. And it took a lot for me to leave but I left for the same reasoning you want to leave. Things just got worse in our relationship over time - when people follow these pseudosciences they will not be able to see anything else as logic (super ironic). I just wanted to say that even though breakups are tough, I have a lot more peace now than I had in the last year of our relationship and I don’t wanna ever argue with anyone over red pill ever again.

lilycamilly · 2023-02-15T13:45:01+00:00

Yeah, you should

plotthick · 2023-02-15T11:13:30+00:00

I'm so sorry he's chosen the path of hate and fear. You could try to fix him, but you really need to decide where your limit is before he drives you all over it.

Naus1987 · 2023-02-15T15:25:18+00:00

Like most things in life, it’s really nuanced.

Think why you got with him. What are his redeeming qualities?

—

Some beliefs are tolerable. The pay gap thing doesn’t affect either of you regardless of what he believes. People believe lots of weird stuff, but as long as it doesn’t affect anyone, it really doesn’t matter.

What you both feel about the pay gap is equivalent to if you both believe in aliens. Unless either of you are in a position to actually do anything about it, it’s just words.

mushroomboie · 2023-02-15T12:50:34+00:00

Wait a sec. No gender pay gap? What do you mean?

hongos_me_gusta · 2023-02-15T13:21:51+00:00

I'd agree mostly w. spiraldinosaur. You should clearly communicate to him you feel he has changed and that bothers you. That it bothers you he adopts the talking points or ideas of certain rp creators without much critical thinking. That you do not wish for these ideas to be communicated to potential children. I think you owe him minimally that you communicate these concerns prior to you possibly breaking up with him. Perhaps he can self reflect and see that he has not thought of some of these ideas with much critical thinking or objection. Perhaps he can see in himself it's just a phase or perhaps not.

mushroomboie · 2023-02-15T12:16:17+00:00

Wait a sec. No gender pay gap? What do you mean?

Enough_Chemistry3258 · 2023-02-15T13:17:12+00:00

KS was not a red piller... i dont care what anyone says hes just him. Hes was harsh to men and women Equally but he did post controversial video titles... thats about it. He also wanted people to be married and improve the marriage rate in the black community. I doubt he would support the current state of red pill people such as andrew tate and fresh and fit. They are losers. But do whats best for you. I think its personally a mistake to leave over a simple conversation that could fix all of that have you tried to talk to him? There are women who also believe the pay gap doesn't exist. So i dont think thats redpill. I don't think it exist either personally i think dwelling on things like that is an excuse to be lazy. You cant guilt people into doing what you want which is the lefts main method of attack these days. But thats just me and some woman i guess. Point is its not redpill to believe these things its freedom of speech. None of that is the subjugation of women which is actually red pill. So i wish we defined what actually is red pill.

Title	Thinkinking about breaking up with my boyfriend. Should I?
Author	Foffweirdo2
Upvotes	30
Comments	38
Date	February 15, 2023 7:25 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/112sa06/thinkinking_about_breaking_up_with_my_boyfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/thinkinking-about-breaking-up-with-my-boyfriend.1152614 https://theredarchive.com/post/1152614

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