So, quick post, turning the light on FDS this time.
One of the most popular FDS advice is to "Always be vetting" guys, often at minimal subjective red flags. Despite i do agree that being alone is much better than being in a shitty relationship, i think this is terrible advice for a number of reasons.
First, if you're FDS i'm guessing that your goal is to be on a relationship with an HVM. After all, If the goal was to be perpectually single one doesn't need to join a "dating strategy". Indeed, it's important to have high standards, however what people tend to forget is that your "High" standards need to be based on your own worth. An unattractive guy who claims he'll only settle for a noble prize winning top model isn't having "high standards", he's merely deluded. Same logic applies with FDS. If you're vetting men you can't realistically expect them to be perfect if you're not perfect yourself, and you can't expect them to be above average or not have character flaws if you, yourself are average of have character flaws.
Secondly, the cynicism and general negative outlook on men makes it impossible to have a clear, down to earth view of men. Mind is prone to self-fulfilly prophecies. If you think the vast majority of men are shit, you'll interpret every behavior as shitty, hence be on a vicous cycle of mindless vetting.
You can always argue "I don't care, i'm a queen, i won't settle for nothing but the absolute best", but then again this whole vetting things comes accross as a general exercise of self love and power affirmation for women who have chronically felt powerless within their relationships with men, or have an history of abuse, rather than an actual viable, realistic "dating strategy". It's a mere overcompensation defense mechanism of women who want to break their own feelings of inferiority by going to opposite extreme and claiming to be queens and reclaiming power by rejecting multiple men.
So yeah, vetting (the way FDS puts it) is mostly a failure as a dating strategy and more of an affirmation of self empowerment (and there are probably much better strategies for self love than this vetting thing).
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Actually none of what you said was bad except TRP isn’t that and is abusive and nefarious with their manipulation strategies.
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Not gonna lie RPD, although I did enjoy reading your posts on debunking trp. However, in some of your comments that I have read over the months, you still get triggered and reek of TRP like attitude with their misogyny in your comments.
I think you still need healing and self reflection over it through therapy. FDS simply became reaction clap back over the misogyny and manosphere present on the internet. I know you probably will guilty over it and some shame due to your own relationship and how trp affected it.
Not that I think you’re some feminist but if you are against trp then it shouldn’t surprise you why they even exist or consider them any “threat” when all those women are simply trying to defend themselves and it is the only female sub in the internet till now which isn’t based bending over woman on male priorities with no perspective or needs of women being taken into consideration.
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But nothing what Op has written is toxic? Vetting and Rejecting someone isn’t toxic unless you feel entitled towards women.
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Where do you see FDS manipulating men? Care to post any where they are strategically asking to make men do certain things or manipulating them emotionally? TRP has emotional and sexual abusive tactics towards women, all FDS has given as strategy is to reject a man.
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