Trapped

brahmidia · 2020-04-09T06:58:48+00:00

Your average woman truly could not give two shits about whether you hate, ignore, or pay attention to them. In fact they'd probably just rather be left alone 99% of the time especially if you don't have a decent reason to interact.

Put it this way, imagine if there was a bunch of gay men who just HATED straight men and went out of their way to deny us straights the attention we so obviously crave. We'd be like great, leave us alone, win-win. By hating women you're not doing much of anything besides poisoning yourself (and if you're actually going out of your way to be an asshole to them then congratulations, you're an asshole.)

But of course straight men aren't just pining to be noticed by gay men. And women aren't generally sitting in picturebox windows just wishing some man would validate their existence.

What is true is that we live in a lonely harsh world and any positivity, connection, solidarity, companionship and love we can find is generally welcome. No matter what gender or orientation you are.

Depression and negative stereotypes have you believing that giving others positivity without demanding positivity in return is naive, foolish, and doomed. But that's about as accurate as an eating disorder telling you that obviously only an obese piece of shit would eat a lettuce wrap without immediately puking it up. It's completely wrong and entirely a figment of your psyche but of course if telling you that would convince you you probably wouldn't be stuck in this hole in the first place.

I'm like 5'6.5" and married. I once was depressive and thought I'd never get married because reasons, but here I am. Don't make up excuses. All of these factoids and justifications are just sad ornaments on a depression christmas tree. You don't need them and they only bear enough resemblance to reality to make them believable, but if you discard them you'll soon look back and realize how silly they were to begin with.

CitrusyDeodorant · 2020-04-09T10:35:26+00:00

I will just provide them the attention and validation they want from average males like me.

Women really don't care about attention and validation from random people. Are you someone they're interested in? Then yes, sure. Otherwise they don't give a shit about what you're doing or not doing.

drunk_blueberry · 2020-04-10T03:59:09+00:00

Having troubles not hating 50% of the human population and want to stop? Get therapy.

krmaml · 2020-04-11T19:44:32+00:00

Why not just treat women in a gender blind, arms length way as you treat men?

absolutebeginners · 2020-04-09T16:05:57+00:00

Why would a woman want validation from you, a nobody with shitty opinions?

lidiakwon · 2020-04-09T10:29:30+00:00

I appreciate the fact that I can see the truth about how hypocritical and shallow people are, but it is truly making me unhappy.

I'm a woman, and I can still feel your frustration and how you feel stuck between these two apparent choices.

I want not to hate women anymore, but at the same time, if I don't hate them, I will just provide them the attention and validation they want from average males like me.

The reason you feel stuck, and even forced to hate women must be because you aren't happy with the situation you're in with women. I can help.

What is it exactly you're struggling to deal with about your relationship with women at this point?

lysalu · 2020-04-09T20:10:07+00:00

I think focusing on your relationship with women is a step to take in the future. I think right now you need to focus on the relationship you have with yourself. I mean that 100%. Do you like yourself? It doesn’t sound like it. Learn to love your height as you are. Seek positive outlets even if its following a bunch of accounts on IG that will reinforce you to be more gentle on yourself and to see anyone that acts on being a heightest is someone who isn’t worth your love, time, or attention. Someone else mentioned working on boundaries, if you haven’t sought therapy I’d seek it and specifically address boundaries and your relationship with yourself. Build a solid foundation within yourself. There is nothing sexier than that. I only offer this because I had to do that with myself. I’ve done a long and thorough personal inventory on how people wronged in me the past but my lack of boundaries, and maladaptive attachment (if that’s a new concept to you, google it,) allowed traumatic cycles to be played out over and over again. Essentially, I was attracted to people who showed signs of repeating similar patterns of pain in my life and I welcomed it in expecting it to be different, so it could heal something in me, but rather it only reinforced those negative beliefs I had about myself and people I was close to.

Listen, I’ve changed a lot. I love myself. I’ve forgiven myself and choose myself. My interpersonal relationships have had ups and downs but they are far better than they used to be because I’m willing to do the work and expect it of my partners and friends.

You’ve got a lot of work to do but you can do it. Learn to love yourself and the rest will come far easier. The road to loving yourself isn’t linear, it won’t be easy, but it’s worth it.

Good luck to you. If you suffer less, people will suffer less. If you don’t heal you’re very capable of being hurt and, I worry, hurt women out of spite and dude, we don’t deserve that.

krmaml · 2020-04-11T19:56:36+00:00

Attraction and relationships develop naturally. I dont think in this day and age you need chivalry or win over a woman through your actions anymore. Just be a friendly person and everything else will follow if it has to. Plenty of men shower women with attention and validation you talk about but don't get anything. Plenty of men are arrogant jerks but have no problem attracting women. Part of moving on from the red pill rage phase is to find the realistic balance.

VisibleBasil · 2020-04-12T22:29:43+00:00

Just dont pay so much attention to women. Focus on your school, hobbies, career, friendships, etc. Spending so much of your life focused on women is not good for you.

This worked for me at least.

Folknust · 2020-04-10T06:46:18+00:00

If you hate women, you are still in the anger phase of the red pill, as most cucks on this subreddit are.

Title	Trapped
Author	helloxdthrow
Upvotes	16
Comments	39
Date	April 9, 2020 5:12 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/fxmdr6/trapped/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/trapped.361327 https://theredarchive.com/post/361327

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