What exactly is the point?

FraidyDogBrowse · 2021-08-24T07:09:44+00:00

I've never mocked a guy for being lonely or afraid they'll never find love. I have empathy for that, it's why I joined this sub. If you're depressed and lonely and struggling a lot of folks here can and do relate.

What I don't have empathy for:

-- Guys who say all women are intellectually inferior emotionally stunted overgrown children.

-- Guys who think women are corrupted by wanting equal rights, careers, financial independence.

-- Guys who think women shouldn't be allowed to choose their own partners and should be forced into sex or relationships against their will.

-- Guys who think women shouldn't be allowed to vote and should be their husband's property.

-- Guys who think women who reject them deserve to suffer and die.

-- Guys who cheer serial rapists, serial killers, mass shooters, spree killers.

-- Guys who discourage desperate lonely people from seeking mental health treatment and encourage people to kill themselves.

-- Guys who normalize and recommend emotional and physical abuse.

All of these are hot takes I've seen from redpillers, blackpillers, and incels. I have no problem if such guys get mocked or hated on. If you're an asshole, and people treat you like one, you've got nobody to blame but yourself.

LadylikeElectricland · 2021-08-23T23:44:47+00:00

Based on people who write here, it is less so about their personalities than them having convinced themselves that they are undateable because 1. Women are evil and 2. They are ugly/have a small penis/ other perceived physical 'deformity.'

The first group, misogynist trolls, should be mocked or ignored, in my humble opinion. You will not convince them to change their minds because they do not come here in good faith.

The second group, on the other, should be told to 'just get over it,' although, admittedly, it should be phrased more gently and with explanation (which you usually do get here). I know it may sting to hear, but that is the only solution in this case. Agonising over your perceived physical deformities won't help you with anything. You'll only become more depressed and more isolated/lonely. And yet, not only 'shitty people' get into relations, but also those who are not conventionally attractive.

If you want to discuss your loneliness, this is a good subreddit for it. You may get a few trolls, who will be downvoted, but most people here will be empathetic.

PS. Also, what are you still doing on FB, boomer?

tiposk · 2021-08-23T23:19:47+00:00

There are several things to unpack in here. Yes, looks matter and they're absolutely necessary if you're interested in dating attractive women without having to resort to your wallet. They're also important if you plan to date or hookup in contexts where no other information about you is available, such as online dating or bars. Looks decline in importance when you date acquaintances and people with whom you interact outside highly visual contexts, such as school or church as you can count on other qualities besides you looks. Most men date and marry even when most of them aren't physically attractive.

Having a bad personality won't prevent you from dating, but certain aspects of it might. Being very socially awkward, being desperate and having unrealistic standards may prevent you from dating REGARDLESS of you looks. Many of these tendencies appear in men who self-sabotage due to trust issues, low-self-worth or not being genuinely interested in dating. At this point therapy might be necessary and the internet might do more harm than good as people telling you to get over it or to change your personality don't understand this.

Regarding loneliness, I don't believe it's a taboo for men to admit it. Men who say they're lonely and would like to date are generally met with sympathy. Where sympathy becomes hard to feel is when loneliness turns into bitterness and hate towards women and this is the kind of men who get mocked.

RedPillDetox · 2021-08-23T23:28:41+00:00

I've seen many,many people (on Facebook and elsewhere) go on and on about how men who aren't dating just need to get a better personality. This is just absurd, knowing how many shitty people can get into relationships; information from online dating studies, history, studies on NPD, and common sense prove that being a dick is kind of irrelevant if you're hot.

Being a dick is kinda of irrelevant if you're hot. It's not irrelevant if you're not. It's a luxury you can't have if you're unattractive. So yes, your personality may still be an issue.

vcreativ · 2021-08-24T21:37:54+00:00

I'd say you're correct, being a dick will absolutely get you laid if you're hot. Sometimes even if you're not tbh. Why? Because people are weird.

So I agree, for others to associate this with a "good personality" that you should now attain isn't particularly observant or helpful, if not quite actively unhelpful.

Just keep in mind that pretty faces can be deceiving. If a lady goes out with a shitty dude, then that doesn't speak for her. But what you must not do now (albeit it being easy, I know), is to use her choices - over which you have no control, and which you likely will never understand, and which sound like they have trauma as a basis - project your insecurities on top, and conclude that you should now feel bad about yourself as a result.

No need to panic or anything. This is pretty normal behaviour, it's just not a good idea. So you need to grow out of it. Don't worry about forcing yourself to stop or anything, don't just "cut it out", the body doesn't work like that. Simply aim to build an understanding as to why basing your self-worth on what people without self-worth do (hot or not) might not make sense.

In short, your value doesn't depend on who you sleep with, who sleeps with you, or anyone else possibly sleeping with one another. It doesn't depend on who wants you, or how many people, it only matters what you do, your integrity, and who you aim to be.

Title	What exactly is the point?
Author	ciaobellapgh
Upvotes	8
Comments	69
Date	August 23, 2021 10:11 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/paa2ue/what_exactly_is_the_point/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/what-exactly-is-the-point.1060269 https://theredarchive.com/post/1060269

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