A situationship without a situation

circescircus · 2021-02-03T01:30:43+00:00

I was once in a 2 month situationship without a situation too. It was weird, similar to what you describe here. I thought it was weird that he was so generous, but never made an aggressive move, he was affectionate but respectful. I found out over time, that he went to restaurants everyday, more or less. He was a regular at like 5-6 establishments, really into food, specific cuisines. One time he embarrassed me because he got upset about his meal, and was like "This is not x dish", he was genuinely upset. Another time, I saw him eat a whole raw onion like it was an apple. After that, I learned that he had a foot fetish, he wanted to touch my feet. I found his Instagram and he followed foot models, like just pictures of feet, women's feet in heels, women stepping on cakes and that sort of thing.

2021-02-03T01:29:30+00:00

Ah, the dichotomy of life. You just need to make a choice without shaming yourself. If he's respectful and you enjoy your time, have fun. Most men refuse to even pay for coffee. If you feel like it's not your cup of tea, to be in this position break it off. Just make a decision that resonates with your genuine self.

Nerosviolin · 2021-02-03T02:22:55+00:00

Your intuition is obviously telling you something is off. You don’t have to know what it is to trust your gut. Always always always trust your intuition, and the fact that your posting here at all is a good sign to call it.

dollymyfolly · 2021-02-03T01:38:50+00:00

I think he might be maintaining you as a burner? It’s weird for a man not to define something he really wants. Maybe keeping you in a nebulous relationship is working for him because he could be seeing someone else.

Edit: I think it’s only a problem if he keeps going like this without defining anything. Men are the ones who move things forward. It’s a problem if he’s not deliberate with how he moves with you. Has he shown you he’s serious? I say just watch him, be cautious, and don’t invest only in him. For the record, every time I’ve seen this behavior in the wild the man had a girlfriend or was married already.

MakeURegret · 2021-02-03T01:41:55+00:00

I mean 2 months sounds like fds guidelines. Are you attracted to him? Do you want the relationship to escalate? What are the pros/cons if you cut it off now vs if you cut it off later and vs if he cuts it off later?

purasangria · 2021-02-03T01:33:54+00:00

If he's not being creepy, and you like his company, why not keep seeing him?

Imaginary_Bed_2572 · 2021-02-03T03:02:45+00:00

It seems like it bothers you that he doesn't define what your relationship is. Something about him throws you off.

Think about your goal here: Do you want to date him? Do you want to date other men and keep him as a friend? What do you talk about on your meet ups? Or more important, what do you not talk about, that is important to you? (aside from the labeling).

You can make it clear through the language you use that these are not dates, but hangouts between friends. You can ask him upfront and operate further depending on his response.

I would definetly advise you not to keep him around if he says he wants anything leaning into the sexual or romantic direction. As you say, he already established himself as friend material, not boyfriend material.If he wanted the second, he'd work harder for it.

Lamiek · 2021-02-03T01:37:34+00:00

I'm in a similar situation. Perhaps he just wants to take it really slow? The pandemic can't be helping.

ihavenoideadwhatimdo · 2021-02-03T03:06:19+00:00

i’ve had a few friendships like this. I think sometimes they just like the attention or perhaps have a low sex drive (like if they have problems with their mental health)

Midcenter · 2021-02-03T01:45:06+00:00

Wait why do you feel like you should stop talking to him? The best relationships can come out of being friends first. Is there a spark?

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2021-02-03T02:59:42+00:00

FDS preaches not having sex before 6 months. At 2 months, not doing anything sexual is actually following FDS advice.

Title	A situationship without a situation
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	28
Comments	20
Date	February 3, 2021 1:05 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/lbbpdo/a_situationship_without_a_situation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/a-situationship-without-a-situation.738428 https://theredarchive.com/post/738428

Comments