Actions speak louder than words

MakeURegret · 2020-11-09T18:02:09+00:00

This is how I was treated by my parents and why I have such hangups around love now.

So happy to have fds clarify things now

Icchy24 · 2020-11-09T18:38:06+00:00

I cried when i went to breakup with my ex and he literally didn't give a shit :))) told me i was overreacting :)))

Can't believe i normalized crying in a relationship so much.

blerty567 · 2020-11-09T19:58:02+00:00

[deleted]

llamasinspace420 · 2020-11-09T18:04:27+00:00

Took me a long time to realize this even though I consciously knew it. Still struggling some days but most days are good now.

oi_oi_oink · 2020-11-09T18:56:24+00:00

Sadly, it took me a long time to realise this. I was always honest in my relationship and I thought he was too. He'd claim that I was the love of his life and then ignore me for weeks because he needed to "think and be in his zone".

Glad to say that I'm over that bullshit now!

deepfriedsatan · 2020-11-09T20:14:50+00:00

Me bawling my eyes out in front of my ex and him just patting me on the shoulder 🙃

Looking back I'm actually grateful he did that because it showed me crystal clear just how little he really cared lol

Pahapan · 2020-11-09T23:44:53+00:00

My ex, when I was gently advising him not to do something that would jeopardize his job: "You're a condescending asshole."

Me: cries

My ex: "I only said that to hurt you."

My ex: "Stop crying. I love you. I never want to hurt you."

?????

luna_prismatic · 2020-11-10T03:49:00+00:00

“I stop myself from crying sometimes because he convinced me it was just me trying to make him feel bad, not that it was me genuinely hurting.” — okay, this is THE comment though!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼As women we’re automatically pigeonholed as being manipulative for expressing any emotion that isn’t positive. Not just my parents, but every guy I dated had such contempt for my emotions, said I was “manipulating them with my tears”, yelled at me, beat me, or the worst of all, sat there emotionless uncaring when I was hurting, and I internalized it so much the point I used to introduce myself as a sociopath, for many years, because I believed what they said about me was true. It just blows my mind how deeply harmful the norm of gaslighting, abuse, and actual manipulation of women is in society, all because shitty, emotionally violent men would prefer to terrorize us and not be held accountable. Why is it considered manipulative/abusive to express pain at being abused? I swear every single aspect of the way we conceptualize relationships, human behavior, emotions, psychology, any of it, is just used to demonize and harm women and continue to uphold male supremacy.

Title	Actions speak louder than words
Author	iaintgonnacallyou
Upvotes	787
Comments	18
Date	November 9, 2020 5:57 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jr2jc3/actions_speak_louder_than_words/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/actions-speak-louder-than-words.326680 https://theredarchive.com/post/326680

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