Mid-30s here.

Recently ran into the same issue with two different men. We live in a city with public transportation, but nowhere near as elaborate as NYC. I have a luxury brand SUV that I’ve had for several years, I own it and it’s completely paid off. I have a parking spot in my high rise that I bought as an investment bc I knew it would be worth more than double it’s value by the time I sell my condo. I work hard and feel that I deserve to have a vehicle that’s nice and safe but also has some style because why the fuck not? Plus I’m total euro trash so of course I’m going to get a European make/model. I just like nice cars, sue me!

Anyway, twice now I’ve met men who are otherwise successful, handsome, and have minimal baggage but then they drop the bomb on me. They don’t own a car. One of them even had their license expired (bonus: he’s terrified of flying so wtf do you never leave your neighborhood?).

This doesn’t bother me so much from a materialistic standpoint but from a logistical one.

Hey can you pick me up from the airport or after a procedure where I can’t drive myself home? Nope. Guess I’ll have to take a $50 Uber or ask a friend.

Your place or mine? Well I guess I’ll drive over so you don’t have to trek here in the cold/rain/snow. Or worse- guess I’ll just come pick you up!

Let’s do a Costco? Oh I guess I have to drive.

Let’s go to an event in the burbs (where a lot of our friends are moving as they have children and throw parties)... oh I guess I’ll be driving.

Hey can you drop something off that I forgot - it’s an emergency? Oh yeah I guess you can’t.

Sounds like a really boring and impractical life.

Instantly I see myself being the fucking chauffeur in the relationship which is a very masculine role that I dislike. Sometimes I want to be picked up and whisked away on a nice date or getaway somewhere or a concert without having to deal with driving logistics. Sometimes I just want to be picked up by my man and have the security of not having to worry about transportation or dealing with parking. Sometimes I want to get wine drunk and be driven home!

Sure, they think maybe not having a car in the city is more economical? It is for some but we are grown adults. I’d love to see how much money they blow on Ubers every month, too. That shit gets expensive.

I just can’t see myself with a man that’s not mobile. Even and especially if it’s a casual relationship (which I prefer). I feel the burden would fall on me, or worse, they start expecting to borrow and use my car (this happened with one guy I dated when I was much younger and stupider) which is a big no from me dawg. Most people drive and park like shit.

Side note: men who are poor drivers are a MAJOR turn off.

Also, if a guy had a car but it’s a total clunker, I feel like it’s also a letdown. I don’t think it’s wrong to seek someone who can match your lifestyle. Plus, with unreliable crappy or falling-apart cars, I don’t feel safe and once again I feel like we’d start preferring and using my car more frequently.

This has become an issue for me as bougie (and turbo euro) men who show off their flashy cars and go to douchey clubs annoy me but hipster/crunchy “cool” urban dudes that are hot are really starting to fall into this “minimalist lifestyle” thing as a scapegoat for not having to be a reliable and functional adult imo.

Do I sound like an elitist asshole snob? It’s seriously a deal breaker for me.

Please discuss.