Attachment Theory

wackdemarco · 2021-04-21T15:31:40+00:00

THERAPY. if you even have the slightest inkling you might have some kind of maladaptive attachment, please seek it out so you can RECOGNIZE, acknowledge and overcome.

hopewings · 2021-04-21T16:21:12+00:00

Unpopular opinion, but I overcame awful parents without therapy. A lot of therapists will tell people to keep in contact with their toxic parents because of societal pressures. Even well-meaning and loving people close to me told me to keep my parents in my life.

Instead, I cut my parents out of my life completely. Zero contact.

I healed in their absence. I struggled in bad relationships in my youth, but I'm a voracious reader on subjects related to mental and physical health, self-improvement, and neurobiology. I read science/research papers. I clawed my own way out of abusive relationships through online research with basically no support system.

The key was to get out of the toxic relationships and go NO CONTACT. Break the bad attachment and start new, healthy ones.

fox_daria · 2021-04-21T16:01:44+00:00

Therapy and finding secure relationships, especially with female friends. Mindfulness too. Being able to recognize my patterns and my family's helps me avoid a bad cycle of anxiety, avoidance, etc. You're always a work in progress of course but tools and success in other relationships make that work so much easier.

I've also loved reading Heather Haverilsky's stuff, especially Ask Polly.

Suspicious-Leg-1407 · 2021-04-21T16:08:15+00:00

Childhood trauma and neglect can cause serious damage to the way your nervous systems functions and the behavioral patterns you adopt to protect yourself. The more you read about cptsd, the more you can learn to identify your triggers and your responses.

Noniefruit · 2021-04-21T18:00:27+00:00

This is weird but I pushed myself to view them the way a stranger would. Like humans with good intentions of course, but also deeply flawed. Somewhat like children, where their behaviour can be wrong but it’s hard to explain to them or make them change it after a certain point. I made myself look at them as people and not family I look up to. While I still love them, I don’t respect them or want their advice. It really helped me realise what I don’t want to be like.

vforvendetta87 · 2021-04-21T16:05:48+00:00

Not yet but I’m very aware of all the attachment styles. I have yet to start therapy again. My attachment style is slowly killing me inside.

_queeeen_ · 2021-04-21T16:55:50+00:00

I had a good relationship with my parents amd they did with each other. But I unhealthy romantic relationships in my early teens that converted me to a pickme. Some healthy relationships followed in my 20s, but also additional harmful situationships.

In terms of how I recovered from that? My intuition kickstarted it. It started just screaming at me “you deserve more” after I’d ignored it for so long. Then therapy, lots of self-help books, and a big one - prioritizing sleep.

Title	Attachment Theory
Author	Crafty_Collar8183
Upvotes	63
Comments	15
Date	April 20, 2021 9:52 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mv1eci/attachment_theory/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/attachment-theory.762220 https://theredarchive.com/post/762220

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