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[–]Shot_Sir7902FDS Newbie 143 points144 points145 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I feel like it’s damn impossible to find a man who isn’t into choking or being “daddy dom” yawn.
I met someone who was telling me all about how kinky and dominate he is. I yawned and said that’s like the “basic girl” stereotype. He looked shook.
Then I asked him if the woman gets to slap him in the face and choke him first.
They’re disgusting
[–]Lazy-Design1979FDS Newbie 63 points64 points65 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Agreed...total turn-off. I'm a basic vanilla prude and proud of it lol
[–]_electrafireFDS Disciple 19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Lmao literally being vanilla is seen as an alternative sexuality at this point
[–]tomatfrogbubblesFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmaoo it really is though.
[–]Honestly_th0FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What’d he say to that?
[–]starfighter07FDS Newbie 87 points88 points89 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I agree and I especially worry for younger generations that seem to think it's a perfectly normal sex behaviour. I generalize here of course but I see so many tik toks of teens praising BDSM (and even hardcore BDSM). A lot of them seem worried about being "boring in bed". Hey, sex is not a circus, you do not have to perform or entertain anyone here. It's about sharing an intimate and vulnerable moment with someone you trust.
Moreover, i think it goes along with the "virgin shaming" that have been going on for a while. I see so many posts of teens (boys and girls) being lile "omg i've never kissed at 13, omg i've never had sex at 16". Ugh. It's perfectly normal, the vast majority of people don't too, despite what you see on social media.
[–]Lazy-Design1979FDS Newbie 25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's almost like sex is an Olympic sport or something. I've truly never understood the obsession with it, like why is it such a competitive thing to be the kinkiest, or have the most partners, or lose your virginity first? And guys will talk about that like they think they're getting me into bed with that nonsense...no way.
[–]Entire_Affect_8350Throwaway Account 62 points63 points64 points 5 years ago* (10 children) | Copy Link
Also why is female domination not more prevalent? I want to see more women whooping ass if BDSM is going to become mainstream.
If everyone's claiming to be so kinky, can we at least be a bit adventurous instead of devolving to the usual "let's martyrise a girl" to get off?
They think it's boring to have vanilla intimate sex when they're the boring drones that follow mainstream trends like sheep.
[–]thatjimmyloveFDS Newbie 55 points56 points57 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Yeah how would they like to get pegged huh?
Most "kinky" men really mean they want an excuse to have an unhealthy and skewed power dynamic with a women that benefits them only
[–]Entire_Affect_8350Throwaway Account 35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
If they asked to be pegged or slapped about more often, maybe they'd finally understand how vulnerable women can feel in bed. But noooo, a substantial number of men will keep demanding to brutalise their sex partner in the name of "taboo" and "kink" when I wonder... how is it taboo to exert power over someone physically weaker than you? Wouldn't it be kinkier to be more vulnerable since presumably a man isn't given that luxury as much? So yeah, I call bullshit on these trends and on the people who think they're so enlightened. They're not, and they're kidding themselves.
Give me some yoni massage and tantric sex over all this bullshit. We've only touched the tip of the iceberg when it comes to female sexuality and it maddens me that it's always pushed to the background or associated with woowoo spirituality.
Women deserve better sex. What on earth is this sexual liberation sham. Why have I only heard of yoni massages at my age (particularly mad about that). Maybe if men actually stepped up and were more open-minded, less of them would be in dead bedrooms. I reckon that women are just as sexual, just not willing to be martyrised all the time. Variety's good you know...
[–]thatjimmyloveFDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Most men do not want a rich and fulfilling sex life they are not interested in the mutual pursuit of pleasure, in a dignifying way. I am young but I have a fairly strong opinion on the matter. Most people see "BDSM" as kinky, liberating and natural, it is consumed trafitioanly in porn that young men and women don't really bat an eye about it , this is how its "supposed" to be. I think "feeling slightly good" has become what women accept from sex. Or on the other hand I feel like what I convinced myself I got out of those situations was just validation. Like women are taught to be the object in sex, so I Never considered myself a present part of sex but rather a passive object, my job was to be desired, If I fulfilled that then whatever. It was psychological. Its messed up.
There is nothing kinky about this its how we have been operating for centuries get a different schtick yknow. its not exciting like young women think , once you take out the internalized good girl feeling. blah.
[–]Entire_Affect_8350Throwaway Account 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's taking me years to de-program myself as an object of desire and actually enjoy sex in body and in mind. I know exactly what you mean and I'd wager that a lot of women can relate. But the more we articulate these sentiments, the less women will be tolerant of this type of selfishness. Of course, I know that there are women who do really enjoy being submissive and I dont mean to dismiss them. I just don't want young women to be forced down a path they're not ok with. I've been down that path too just like yourself and came out with the same conclusions.
[–]thatjimmyloveFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I agree , My wish is for young women to really understand and consider themselves sexually , it is so easy to go through your sex life as the object believe you love it and never think about it, I am so happy I have come to this conclusion so early on. It is hard to articulate but really the realization is solid it is nothing more than vapid validation that's replaceable.
I think my nature is more submissive so I was like double perceptive to being the object of the desire, but I hate how it is expected or taken advantage of. Being submissive does not mean you have to submit as dumb as it sounds lol. The true submissive has power In their hands. Honestly using words like that in sex and strict roles is so limiting it's just black and white and role filling. I am glad to find like minded women :)
[–]Entire_Affect_8350Throwaway Account 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree it's really hard to articulate and takes sometimes years of exploring and introspection, which makes reading your perspective even more precious. We really need to trust our intuitions more don't we. I'm sure there's many more like us out there! <3
[–]randowordgeneratorFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
femdom, ugh, that sounds exhausting. now, findom, is another story.
Exactly what Ive always said. They think theyre so "different' but its the same old man dominant women submissive like... thats been happening since forever. Switch it up a little at least. Women being dominant is at least something truly different and "taboo" lol.
[–]engineergorlFDS Newbie 42 points43 points44 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
All this is doing is giving men who strangle their girlfriends to death during sex a pass. “I didn’t know what I was doing!” “I didn’t think pressing that hard would hurt her!” “She wanted me to choke her!” Wait for all these excuses to be rolled out in court. Absolute clowns, both the men and the pickmes.
[–]discoveringlibertyFDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep, so many murderous males have been using this as a defence in court that the UK has had to draft a new Bill specifically specifying that men aren't allowed to use 'oopsie I made her ded while banging' as a way of escaping their sentence/getting a reduced sentence.
I'm glad the legislation is being passed, but it is only because women's groups have been so vocal about it, before that the courts were completely fine with letting these murderers walk free. It should never have been allowed to get to the point were this was a usable defence against literal murder.
[–]scooter_seFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There’s no such thing as safe choking! It is simply not worth the risk
[–]thatjimmyloveFDS Newbie 39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Young women who have not even had sex confuse their "desire" for it with the misogyny that I mean LITERALLY is being shoved down our throats.
The grooming is so obvious, They'll move past their kinkmeisha stage hopefully. After they realize the reality of such sex and how most sex is not fulfilling in the way you think it is.
[–]CatherineWinkworthThrowaway Account 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Even before I learned about FDS, I realized that porn was causing dudes to try to choke me like without even asking first!!? This never happened when I was in my early 20s and in my mid to late 30s more than one guy just went for it without the decency to even talk about it first? Hard pass. That was when I realized that porn is ruining men and that I'd never date a guy who was really into porn again.
I can’t even imagine how stupid and disconnected they are to think they can do that. Like why wouldn’t I assume I’m about to get raped and murdered? Shockingly, feeling scared for my life is kind of a huge turnoff
[–]AriaLuzFDS Apprentice 28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That phrase came from a rapper named Corpse called Egirls are ruining my life. He’s a great rapper and a great person overall but that phrase has become so popular it does worry me for the young and impressionable men and women.
[–]BooksandEarlGreyTeaFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was just about to say the same, I worry how people try to be edgy and really push things. I think a lot of teens and young people do push boundaries and experiment as they discover themselves, but it was never so blatant and in your face hardcore BDSM.
It bothers me how many young people are jumping straight into hardcore BDSM, without even taking the time to ask if this is something they are sure they want. Plus it feels like there is a creep on what people are into, so many people seem to do everything and I have to ask if they even know what their boundaries are?
Edit: added their
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[–]Shot_Sir7902FDS Newbie 143 points144 points145 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lazy-Design1979FDS Newbie 63 points64 points65 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]_electrafireFDS Disciple 19 points20 points21 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]tomatfrogbubblesFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Honestly_th0FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]starfighter07FDS Newbie 87 points88 points89 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Lazy-Design1979FDS Newbie 25 points26 points27 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Entire_Affect_8350Throwaway Account 62 points63 points64 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]thatjimmyloveFDS Newbie 55 points56 points57 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Entire_Affect_8350Throwaway Account 35 points36 points37 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]thatjimmyloveFDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Entire_Affect_8350Throwaway Account 10 points11 points12 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]thatjimmyloveFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Entire_Affect_8350Throwaway Account 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]randowordgeneratorFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tomatfrogbubblesFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]engineergorlFDS Newbie 42 points43 points44 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]discoveringlibertyFDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]scooter_seFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thatjimmyloveFDS Newbie 39 points40 points41 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CatherineWinkworthThrowaway Account 17 points18 points19 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]scooter_seFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AriaLuzFDS Apprentice 28 points29 points30 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]BooksandEarlGreyTeaFDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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