Do you use hinge?

pinkcloudzzz · 2020-11-25T05:56:37+00:00

I went on a couple hinge dates and they’re no different from tinder or bumble dates. One hinge guy even tried to say that he wasn’t sure if us meeting up twice counted as “dates”. He said this after I told him I wasn’t interested anymore 😂😂

Sage_Planter · 2020-11-25T04:49:06+00:00

I've used it in the past, but I generally think all dating apps are pretty sucky for their own reasons.

That said, the quality of people on an app is really location dependent. What's popular in your area among the kind of men you're looking for might not be what's popular in my area, etc.

theminiaturelife · 2020-11-25T16:02:39+00:00

I am almost exclusively on Hinge right now. I have a bumble profile but it’s only set to women (I date men and women) because I think more WLW are still possibly on bumble. I don’t think CMB is even a thing in my city.

OLD is a numbers game. My Hinge strategy was create my profile, set my parameters, leave it open for a few weeks and don’t check the app at all during that time. I do not send likes or swipe through men. To me this is the online equivalent of men approaching me. Since the profile was brand new I figure the algorithm will present me to people fitting my parameters, and from my observation I do believe that’s more or less true. After a few weeks there were 300+ interactions with my profile. I then paid $10 for a one month subscription to get access to sift through the people who liked my profile.

I know people have different opinions on paying for dating apps but hear me out! I went through and deleted anyone who just sent me a “like” with no conversation starter. If a man has such little effort or initiative to not even send me a few words, he is likely not worth my time, and there were quite literally dozens of men lined up behind him.

From there with the ones who actually sent me conversation starters (low effort heart eyes emojis, “LOL”, etc do not qualify) I went through their profiles and culled the list down to about 60 that looked worthwhile. Of those I invited about 3-5 at a time every few days to start a conversation with me. FDS has taught me sudden death, scorched earth policy: As soon as some loser shows any type of red flag, good-bye! Deleted match. This narrowed it down to about 25 people who had good conversation.

From there like the handbook says, video chat for 15 mins first to initially vet them without physical risk (a big deal always but especially during covid). Then I had about 7-10 people I felt were worth possibly exchanging numbers and maybe meeting later down the line. So far this has yielded exactly zero dick pics/inappropriate convos/low effort-low value behavior due to the sudden death deletions if I don’t like where things are going. Has also led to about five or six very nice respectful and fun conversations which ended with the guy asking me to dinner. Currently dating and vetting three people and have cut off all other FWB situations.

SearchingForPanacea · 2020-11-25T05:44:48+00:00

In my area (medium sized city) I’ve only met trash men on Hinge. N=3. For some reason I’ve only encountered f-boys who only want sex and I have been ghosted before after having sex so it’s demoralizing. I would try okcupid ! You can weed out significantly on there because people have to answer questions, although I had a four month relationship with a GIGANTIC LVM from there.

theminiaturelife · 2020-11-25T04:38:38+00:00

[deleted]

divination__ · 2020-11-25T15:13:19+00:00

The best way to look at OLD is that its just numbers. By using several apps you are increasing your pool, and it is up to you to sort the trash out of that pool (some apps will def have more trash, but individuals are individuals and you only need ONE decent person). You don't HAVE to use all the apps, like I don't use Tinder because I just don't think the wading through trash justifies any potential men I meet on there - and if a man is dating online and seriously looking for a relationship, he will NOT be exclusively on Tinder. You have to vet men individually and ruthlessly rather than assume they're HV or LV just based on what app they are on.

Hinge has one main benefit - it's good because you can vet men much more ruthlessly - six pictures and writing on your profile is mandatory, and a lot of them can't even answer three prompts without waving one red flag. You don't have to waste your time talking to them to find that out. It also shows you who liked you (without having to pay) so there's no blind-swiping. The algorithm is also more specific on it - make sure you have really really good photos on hinge, as it only shows you people who it thinks you will like and like you back. After a while the algorithm does adjust to your tastes, and though I rarely see super attractive men on there (and that's because quite frankly, there just aren't that many attractive men generally), I'm at least shown decent candidates. I am also in a major metropolitan city so ofc there are significantly more users and therefore generally more HVM - Hinge is still smaller compared to tinder and bumble etc.

AwkwardDisaster4150 · 2020-11-25T14:12:50+00:00

Both the guys I met on hinge turned out to be batshit crazy. They love-bombed me, became obsessed with me the first time they met me. One of them started naming our kids on the second date. It scared me off hinge. The tinder guys are bad with their not wanting any commitment but the hinge guys actually seemed dangerous.

yfunk3 · 2020-11-25T07:48:00+00:00

I used Hinge first, then Coffee Meets Bagel. Hinge was more "popular", but more superficial because of its ridiculous lack of profile info. It was basically Tinder with one more step.

iconic117 · 2020-11-25T12:59:27+00:00

I had just as many guys try and use Hinge to hookup as any other app. Men are out there trawling anything they can and don't respect the rules of the app.

Littleflower455 · 2020-11-25T06:27:30+00:00

I do, I’ve met some great guys and some not so great ones. I feel like it’s better than CMB for instance. I wanted to try the League but I heard it’s difficult to get in, what have been your experiences on there?

WildTenderness · 2020-11-25T20:42:43+00:00

I've used Hinge and Bumble. There seems to be more variety on Bumble (at least in my area) and it's easier to come across higher quality people–if you put in the time. I dislike Hinge because while people are generally more serious and higher quality (not in terms of looks but.. eh), it slows everything down and makes it harder to actually meet with people and start "forming connections" or whatever. I also like it though because I rarely initiate on there, and for the most part, I can be passive and not waste much time in regards to receiving likes.

As for Bumble... It sucks having to make the "first move", but I haven't had trouble setting the standard later on with the people I've dated. I would never ask for alternate contact info or dates and would expect them to plan it. To me, the way Bumble works is similar to how it would be to give a man your number in person. You're technically not making the first move, because you're just giving them the means to contact/impress you, but that's just how I view it. Another con of Bumble though is that it sucks up so much of your time with the swiping. Such a pain in the ass, especially since I barely swiped right on anybody.

I got off the apps a couple months ago though, too exhausting at this point in my life and the quality of people on there during the pandemic has decreased significantly.

2020-11-25T20:09:07+00:00

Hinges algorithm is backwards. It starts with showing you the bottom feeders, slowly getting better. It took me about a month or two to start seeing decent profiles. I eventually had to uninstall it because I get all my dates from Bumble anyway.

CatullusKitten · 2020-11-25T20:39:28+00:00

I met my boyfriend on it and I (obviously) consider him to be high value. However I used it for 9 months before I met him. The ones I met before him were variable. But from our first date he was just amazing - respectful, interesting and interested, generous etc and has continued to be like that in the year we’ve been together. He genuinely makes my life better and easier, which I can’t say about anyone I’ve dated in the past. My best friend also met her boyfriend on it and they seem to be very happy together.

It probably also depends on the area - I’m based in London, England - possibly major cities might be better?

Title	Do you use hinge?
Author	janatztxcxxx
Upvotes	38
Comments	24
Date	November 25, 2020 12:18 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/k0h7ws/do_you_use_hinge/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/do-you-use-hinge.732822 https://theredarchive.com/post/732822

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