Long story short, we have been seeing each other since November. I know it’s not exactly enough time to confirm he is a 100% HVM but he hasn’t done a single thing to prove otherwise.

He’s a genuinely wonderful guy, has paid for everything, been kind and empathetic, a great listener, cares about me and my preferences, is patient and handsome and bonus is even 6’2” which was the cherry on top of the HVM sundae.

The problem is...I’m just not into him. He doesn’t stir deep feelings in me, and I find myself making dates only just to cancel on him. I’m acting like an asshole and I feel very guilty about it.

Last month he asked me if we wanted to be exclusive and I told him that I basically wasn’t interested in a relationship with anybody. But if I’m honest with myself, it’s just that I’m not feeling him deeply enough.

I’ve given it almost 4 months now and I’ve just come to the realization that he’s not the one for me. He’s smart but not intellectual in the way I crave and I don’t think we’re compatible in the levels that I need to be with somebody.

I just feel SO BAD, he’s such a sweetheart and has treated me better really than any man I’ve ever dated. He’s been hurt before and I feel like such a bitch because I don’t want to reject him and hurt him further but I just can’t string him along anymore and lie to either of us.

What do I do in this situation? I guess I know the obvious answer but I just wanted some objective advice on how to break the news gently to him.

Has anyone else been in this situation? I’m currently in therapy and we’ve talked about how I equate love with pain. I’m aware that I’m simply not used to nontoxic relationships nor do I have any role models for what a healthy relationship constitutes. BUT I just can’t ignore my intuition anymore—bottom line is I’m just not into him and we both deserve more.