30F here , struggling with the idea of being a high value woman. Yet again I sunk to the low of hooking up and drinking , two things that I have been trying to completely avoid just knowing how it makes me feel after. The problem is I know I’m lonely , single parent here , not feeling like I’ll ever find anyone and not sure that I want to , it’s not even that I want a low value male or a hook up , I guess I’m just so driven by my career , my schooling and my relationship with my child that all the focus is hard to maintain so then comes the alcohol and the bad decisions ( of course my child isn’t with me when this happens, I haven’t introduced her to any male in my life due to knowing they didn’t add up) I have a lot of shame , and I’m not sure if I can follow the advice without slipping up because I haven’t had a solid self esteem in forever I feel the same embarrassment shame and slight of sleeping with someone who chucks me or leaves me on read and all that crap I feel stupid I know I need to be ok with myself and my loneliness in order to be high value woman I guess there’s just so many factors involved that make self care hard , I can go many days of eating healthy and exercise and then it’s like a lonely dark hole swallows me and I act like an idiot Any words of encouragement would help !