The TL;DR is that I got out of a relationship with a LVM last spring and am in a relationship now with the HVM of my dreams.

In spring 2019, I got out of a relationship with a LVM. As unhealthy as the relationship was for both of us and as much as I knew the breakup was for the best, healing was still difficult.

I joined FDS, consumed all the information you’ve all worked so hard to put together, and took a few months off from dating to heal. I also began losing weight (I wasn’t overweight before but was at the high end of the healthy range for my height and knew I could look even better) and am now 25 pounds down.

When I returned to OLD, it was exhausting. I encountered many LVMs (some who didn’t reveal themselves to be LVMs until several dates in), but I reminded myself not to define my worth by their validation or how well they were treating me, because I know I deserve to be treated like a queen.

Aside from dating, I stayed busy with work, friends, fitness, hobbies, etc., but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t TIRING weeding out one LVM after another, with time investments involved in the ones who weren’t LVM right away. I learned how to be completely happy alone but also knew in the back of my hand how much joy the perfect HVM for me could bring to my life.

Enter my current boyfriend who I met after several months of OLD. He’s the man of my dreams - we connect deeply on an emotional, physical, mental, etc. level and I love who he is. We’ve been dating for 5 months. I followed FDS principles to a T (mostly...I agree with 99 percent of the rules here!) and always carried myself as a prize all along (he has no idea my ex was a LVM and no idea that I was at all jaded from OLD, and he believes I was always treated like a queen).

The night we finally had sex for the first time he told me he wanted to treat me like the queen I am...and he’s never stopped. I’ve carefully observed his every move and he hasn’t wavered. We’re the perfect match, and I truly couldn’t be happier.

The FDS journey never ends. While I am confident in him and our relationship, I know that I need to continue to be the HVW he fell for and need to be able to appreciate the joy he brings to my life WITHOUT ever RELYING on him for my happiness. I reread “Why Men Love Bitches” from the FDS-suggested readings because it has so many important learnings about how to maintain my independence and allure and not lose myself in this relationship. I’m confident in myself that I won’t ever be a pick-me again (like I have been in a past life) and that I can continue to hold my own in this relationship.

So grateful to FDS for everything and just wanted to share!