~ archived since 2018 ~
Popular
Other
eng2fly
[–]CeriseNoireFDS Newbie161 points162 points163 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Your own degradation is so quirky. Men hang around you until you get dumped for someone they actually like. Omg that's so funny, girl. Tell me more.
[–]plembbFDS Disciple44 points45 points46 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Right? Like sis it’s your own damn fault and it’s not funny. Stop letting men do this shit to you.
[–]nutshitFDS STRATEGY COACH41 points42 points43 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My face is literally like 😐 when they talk about taking toxic men back over and over again, and being forever/foster girlfriends. Like girl... you don’t have to live this way. Just .. stop?
[–]CompleteObligation16 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think it's more a coping mechanism. I've had loads of men do this to me. It's easier to joke about it otherwise its just painful.
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Um yeah. Wtf?
[–]peachpy55FDS Newbie96 points97 points98 points 6 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Ugh. I've been the woman men want to cheat with before they commit fully to their girlfriends with no career ambitions. They think I'm super interesting because I'm very ambitious with my own career/investment plans and then they realize that it's scary to deal with women who have the financial/professional means to walk away... and then they go back to the woman who can't make ends meet.
[–]terribletimingtodayFDS Apprentice62 points63 points64 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That's a good description. They'll talk about wanting an independent, self sufficient woman until they get one. Then they realize they don't hold all the cards and control. They'll find one more dependent on them, even if they were a good match to the prior. The need that feeling of dominance. Of control over their wife.
I've been this one before. Told I was too independent and self sufficient. Left for some chick who needed his income to be a full fledged adult. Not cheating but the last date before the one they marry...a couple times.
[–]peachpy54FDS Apprentice30 points31 points32 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeeeees. It's not just the dominance, it's about intellectual/emotional horizons. It must be very threatening to partner with a woman with wider horizons and a less boundaried view of the human experience. Heck, a LVM can hardly deal with being around another MAN who is more well-traveled, well-read, etc. Can you imagine how threatening it'd be to partner with a woman who pings all these insecurities for him? No wonder a LVM would rather be with a woman with a more limited world-view.
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think a lot of men are afraid to admit that. So, they get into relationships to feel top tier by association/basking in reflected glory, then realize they can't hold a candle to the woman they chose. They run off to be with low value women in order to not feel emasculated.
[–]SayNadFDS Apprentice36 points37 points38 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
a "foster girlfriend"
The correct term is "free sex service provider".
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Apprentice5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, I'm afraid.
[–]ginnnnieFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Jesus this is NOT something to be proud about. Does this girl have no feelings? I wouldn’t want to put myself in this situations...
[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple65 points66 points67 points 6 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link
I feel the same tho.
I had a couple of boyfriends and a fiancé that I very harshly cut off after they displayed dealbreaker or N/LVM behaviour. They couldn’t phantom me breaking up with them but I stood my ground.
All three of them were so flabbergasted and shook that they actually went to therapy and levelled up. But for me it was too late and I still didn’t want to reconcile.
This made them very different in their next relationships tho (except for the ex fiancé, I secretly think he didn’t really change). The two ex bf’s are now married with children. They thanked me for making them level up.
Now I only have to vet better and show that kind of self respect right of the bat with orange flags and not only when a red one is flapping in my face.
[–]OrchidLionFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
That is amazing. You're effectively changing relationship dynamics for everyone.
What did you say to them to make them realize their fault? Usually that do mental gymnastics to shift responsibility. What did you exactly say?
[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
I think I can come across as very dependent, which I am in a way. So they think I won’t walk out on them.
I have been told that I’m the kind of woman that gets noticed when I enter a room, looks wise, and come across as very high maintenance and articulate with words in my native language. This makes me a bit ‘intimidating’ apparently. But when I start to feel safe with my boyfriend, I will show my totally different side.
I will be very caring, cuddly and goofy. Sometimes even childlike in a way, I still sleep with my teddy bear 🧸 I’m also not into fights, in the sense that I will speak my mind about something but I will never swear, call names or raise my voice during the relationship.
So I’m very ‘independent woman’ but also seem dependent in a way? They treat me really well the first period, up to years. When they think I’m theirs (move in or engagement) they try their bullshit.
At that point I think this behaviour is just a ‘phase’ because it’s so out of character, but when it’s abusive or doesn’t go away I cut them off. No coming back, zero second chances.
I think they don’t expect that from a ‘girl’ who needs her teddy and cuddles? They forget the other side of me that knows her worth.
I’m not sure if that’s it exactly, but it really got me that every single ex bf/fiancé told me they never thought I would ever break up with them. I think the shock drove them to therapy. They all feel very bad about their behaviour and tell me they can’t forgive themselves.
Edit: I think it helps that they have literally no ammunition against me. I don’t have male friends. I give loads of attention, am a good host. My fiancé cheated on me because he missed my attention and cleaning the house when I was taking care of my dying father. He expressed dismay, but this was the worst he could come up with and it didn’t make him look good. So they all had to take a long, hard look in the mirror.
[–]OrchidLionFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Hmm, that sounds a lot like me except that you have very strong boundaries. Which I am learning to have now too.
LOL YES I love the not giving them any ammo part. Queen!!
[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Well, sadly I only have very strong boundaries for things that I recognise as toxic behaviour.
Because of my childhood, I am used to threading water and don’t recognise orange flags. Trying to unlearn a lot of unhealthy patterns at the moment and it is really an eye-opener!
[–]OrchidLionFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I feel you. I didnt even recognize abuse or toxicity before I met my abusive ex. I only thought stuff like lying, hitting, watching porn, cheating and a couple other things were deal breakers. Learned a lot about emotional abuse and how bad it can be, and now my list of red flags has grown immesnsely.
[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly this! And it’s good thing that we’re learning, we will be a lot better at protecting ourselves in the future!
[–]graveyardmalibu2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Omg are you me?? This also have happened to me in a few relationships. They thanked me for their growth as if I'm some sort of stepping stone for their next relationship. You're not alone
[–]tonha_da_pamonhaFDS Apprentice12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh man... i used to say I was perpetually setting my men up for their next girlfriend.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Me too. I always said it was like I was put on earth to fix broken men and then send them on their way... but now I realise just how common that is
[–]it_was_just_hereFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I used to know a pickmeisha who was doing just that for a guy. She found a guy with no money, no job, no car, no goals, baby-mama drama, and nothing to offer other than good looks and "nice conversation". She would encourage him to live a non-bummy lifestyle. To get a job, to get back in school, to find a career. I asked her why she was doing all of this instead of just finding a man who already had those things. She said "So he can have a good foundation for when we're dating. Even if he doesn't end up with me, I've at least built him up for the next woman". Why would you date or build a man to prepare him for the next woman? It's a waste of time and too much emotional labor for nothing in return. The time that pickmes are spending to build up men is the same time they could be using to build up themselves financially, mentally, and emotionally.
[–]GoldeneAnanasFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dunno if perfect, divine sarcasm or complete and utter idiocy. O_o
(Hoping and laughing for the first tho)
[–]Lilterfy1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Having self respect ist that hard😬
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh my god, that's so awful.
[–]scentstar50000 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
!!!!!
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
[–]CeriseNoireFDS Newbie161 points162 points163 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]plembbFDS Disciple44 points45 points46 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]nutshitFDS STRATEGY COACH41 points42 points43 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CompleteObligation16 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]peachpy55FDS Newbie96 points97 points98 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]terribletimingtodayFDS Apprentice62 points63 points64 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]peachpy54FDS Apprentice30 points31 points32 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SayNadFDS Apprentice36 points37 points38 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Apprentice5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ginnnnieFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple65 points66 points67 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]OrchidLionFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]OrchidLionFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]OrchidLionFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]graveyardmalibu2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tonha_da_pamonhaFDS Apprentice12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]it_was_just_hereFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GoldeneAnanasFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lilterfy1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]scentstar50000 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link