He's a virgin

Acceptable-Respond54 · 2020-09-12T14:28:53+00:00

So I’ve taken 2 Virginities (both guys were around 25).

Guy one- negged me horrendously. Told me I wasn’t pretty enough for him ( he was far from a looker). And blamed my ‘lack of a model body’ for why he’d struggle to finish. And not the fact he’d been death gripping his penis for years.

Guy two- left me in the middle of a crisis because he was sad that he’d never got to sleep around and didn’t want to settle down with the first woman he’d ever slept with.

Both were nerdy and socially awkward. In my pickme days I’d see this type of guy as safe. But never ever again. Proceed with caution sis. In my experience, they either project their insecurities on you or see you as training wheels. And the worst part is they aren’t even cute enough for me to at least take some satisfaction in replaying the memories.

Edit: neither of them were virgins out of choice - religious beliefs etc

ItsYesMaam2u · 2020-09-12T13:53:47+00:00

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Blackishcat27 · 2020-09-12T12:02:22+00:00

I don’t know I find my ex was very vocal about talking about he was a virgin, it depends on how they bring it up and talk about it, how much does it seem to worry them? Maybe they are thinking about the outcome too much?

Now my ex pretty much used it as a way to be like “ I waited 25 year for you” Yeah no dude you waited 25 years to enter any female and I was just the unlucky one who trusted you enough until the mask came off about 3 months in and his whole nice guy side was a facade. No wonder he couldn’t get laid.

iamaninsect · 2020-09-12T13:13:38+00:00

Very interesting you brought this up because I wanted to tell this story but didn’t want to appear to be shrugging off a “once in a lifetime good thing”. That’s absolutely not what happened and I did let him off nicely. But ultimately... he just had zero personality on top of being a complete 100% virgin who hadn’t even really kissed a girl before. And that’s all well and good, I’m not shaming that at all. It’s just I wish I knew what I was getting into cus he was trying to hide it.

You guys might actually like this story. It involves my queening up.

A couple years back I started dating someone I had thought was my closest friend. We had skirted around the idea that we liked each other for a long time, and finally decided to give it a shot. Well it didn’t last long and a girlfriend of mine let me know she found out he had cheated on me with this Pickme bartender chick.

At first I was kinda devastated. But then I heard more about how that relationship was going and it just seemed sad lol. So I picked myself up and decided to go to this club he and his band were playing at one night. Apparently he had just changed his relationship status the morning of, but I had already blocked him. I’m sure I looked at little crazy showing up like this, but I had my eyes set on his new guy in the friend circle. My girlfriend from earlier helped me set up meeting him that night.

Ex who cheated on me was automatically offended and had even told my girlfriend that his new squeeze wasn’t as cool as me lol. So my confidence was through the roof.

New guy and I had hit it off for a while. A few months in I decided to do the deed with him but... oh goodness.

It was awful. And it’s because he was a virgin. No experience whatsoever with girls physically. Looking at him tho, you’d never know it. He was very striking, very tall, long long hair and gorgeous beard, Finnish features. He looked like a damn warrior. He was extremely nice and polite and sweet. He had moved out into a cute new place and would drive pretty far to see me a lot. He took me on really fun dates and paid for everything. Tbh he was pretty HV. Everything was great...

Except for sex. Sex became a weird chore because personally, I want someone who knows what they’re doing alresdy. I couldn’t get aroused. There were some other issues with his equipment I won’t lie. It was honestly like... a 27 year old in a 14 year old young gentleman’s brain. It was really difficult, but I had to break it off and try to just remain friends.

So yeah. I think if his virginity is creating a strange non romantic feeling and it’s getting in the way of the relationship, it could be a personal red flag. But if you want to get past it, and he isn’t addicted to porn or anything, you can try to make it a fun learning game between you two. I thought that’s what I wanted to do at first; but it turns out I was just a little further ahead than that and I want someone experienced.

daisy_0720 · 2020-09-12T12:33:06+00:00

I'd take it as an amber flag. I'm not virginity-shaming here (I was a late bloomer myself) but men who are virgins relatively late in life can be WEIRD. They often secretly harbor resentment towards women for not giving them a chance in high school/college and their sexual education often comes from porn.

And do not expect them to be grateful to you for agreeing to be their girlfriend. Many of them will simply use you as a starter girlfriend for practice, gain some sexual experience then decide they want to go out and fuck every other woman they can to make up for lost time.

Also, do you really want to be training a grown man?

yokoonoyes · 2020-09-12T11:57:28+00:00

I mean it’s not a red flag per se, but they definitely won’t have the bedroom experience to give you satisfying sex. And also watch out for compulsive porn usage. THAT is a red flag.

randolphism · 2020-09-12T12:25:53+00:00

Is your hunting ground a LARP group? If so I'd say it's normal. ;)

Blackishcat27 · 2020-09-12T13:37:38+00:00

It may be it may not be. These guys may just feel that sex shouldn't be some casual thing that gets thrown around everywhere. I wouldn't weed people out based on this alone. If anything it could possibly be more of a green flag.

PhoenixRisingAsap · 2020-09-12T12:40:54+00:00

It’s a red flag in the sense that dudes generally don’t wait so long. In fact they’re desperate to have sex as soon as possible. So why hasn’t he, yet? Also another issue that’ll creep up is that you’ll likely become “practice” and he will later want to have sex with other women because now he knows what it feels like and he will think he hasn’t had enough.

stofzuigster · 2020-09-12T12:39:06+00:00

red flag for me

ItsYesMaam2u · 2020-09-12T22:02:05+00:00

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Platipus6 · 2020-09-12T23:44:39+00:00

You've been on a FEW dates. That's not enough time to judge if they're lovely. Guys can keep a mask on for 6 months when they want something.

Be on the lookout for 3 things:

They're lying. Pretending to be cute innocent virgins, playing the pity card and appealing to "teachers". I saw a dude on tinder for over a year claiming he was a virgin just looking for someone to take his virginity. Sure. I bet he got his virginity taken every weekend.

They're influenced by the manosphere. They both hate and want to fuck women. The mask will slip and they'll choke you out by surprise.

They're incels and are just looking to "change everything" by having sex, and believe their virgin status is the only thing holding them back from happiness and greatness. They'll bust a nut, roll over and walk out to their ... exactly the same, mediocre life.

AfraidofFollowers · 2020-09-12T21:42:14+00:00

I once met a man who didn’t know what an orgasm was and didn’t know that his dick could spurt out white goo. He was 25 and probably super sheltered. He was really focused on his career and had extensive hobbies but no luck with the ladies.

Each person is different. I did not take his virginity. I don’t feel any animosity towards virgins. They are living the best way that they know how.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-09-13T00:08:39+00:00

IAteTheDragon · 2020-09-13T16:12:32+00:00

I don't know... Somehow I'm afraid that he will always want to try other/ different women after being with just one partner.

ProfessionalExpert7 · 2020-09-12T17:23:58+00:00

Take him and train him. The men I've known that were the best husbands were virgins when they got married. Vet him first though, as you would vet all men.

Title	He's a virgin
Author	ItsYesMaam2u
Upvotes	29
Comments	37
Date	September 12, 2020 11:47 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/irb5wj/hes_a_virgin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/hes-a-virgin.214165 https://theredarchive.com/post/214165

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