I’ve always been a very open person, and never used to assume bad things about anyone. However, over the course of my teenage years I’ve come to really distrust men. Ive even grown wary of the men in my family since I caught my stepdad filming me after getting out of the shower. My first 2 boyfriends got bored of me and cheated on me. The healthiest relationship I had ended because he had to go to college, and I felt like shit afterwards bc the day he arrived (not 24 hours after we broke up and he was crying to me that he loved me) he slept with 3 different girls. My friends have all had horrible experiences with men as well. I think all of them have gotten cheated on at this point even though they all pour themselves into their relationships and do the absolute most for these men. Even the way I hear guys talk to eachother makes me feel gross. They are often degrading women and just generally being gross about how they see us. (Talking about our bodies and about sex all of the time).. The nail in the coffin though has been my most recent ex who raped me, and physically and verbally abused me after feeding me a bunch of bullshit about how he’d treat me right.

I just feel like I’m so untrusting of men now. I am taking a break from dating to heal from my past relationship, but I want to eventually be able to have healthy relationships with men. How do I not assume the worst in them? Like I don’t think it’d be healthy to go into any relationship (even a friendship) being super on edge all the time and suspicious of hidden motivations. Idk what to do.