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I hate the fact that people here think marital rape laws will devalue the institution of marriage. Makes me not want to ever get married. Women are never protected!

asianinindia

August 26, 2021

361 upvotes

https://twitter.com/LiveLawIndia/status/1430741042895020038?s=19

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Post Information

Title	I hate the fact that people here think marital rape laws will devalue the institution of marriage. Makes me not want to ever get married. Women are never protected!
Author	asianinindia
Upvotes	361
Comments	31
Date	August 26, 2021 5:50 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pbtc8d/i_hate_the_fact_that_people_here_think_marital/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-hate-the-fact-that-people-here-think-marital.1065124 https://theredarchive.com/post/1065124

Comments

[–]Love_ArtemisFDS Newbie 145 points146 points147 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]asianinindiaFDS Newbie[S] 83 points84 points85 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Disciple 73 points74 points75 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Some-Air9442FDS Newbie 50 points51 points52 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]flower_vulvaFDS Newbie 26 points27 points28 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Some-Air9442FDS Newbie 20 points21 points22 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]99powerFDS Apprentice 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]poppinkittyFDS Newbie 86 points87 points88 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]munakhtylerFDS Newbie 61 points62 points63 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]honeybadgerattitudeFDS Newbie 44 points45 points46 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]asianinindiaFDS Newbie[S] 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]spacebound232FDS Newbie 39 points40 points41 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Hikari3747FDS Newbie 20 points21 points22 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]lvioletsnowFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

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[–]sruslywhythoFDS Newbie 28 points29 points30 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]IronsculptureFDS Newbie 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Hot_Procedure1648 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

We for starters need to make marriage beneficial for women again, and then stop pushing women to be the sole caretakers of children (SATHMs). A gap in work experience on a woman's resume for just a few years can mess her up. Women won't have to stay in cases were the husband gets violent, "Fuck you" money is a powerful thing (Under no circumstances a joint bank account, heaven forbid I put that much trust in someone else's hands). Usually, men don't become obviously aggressive until they know you can't leave. Marriages if done right can offer women security, benefits, and compensation of time (stuff like jewellery that can be pawned off). We need to rewrite marriage to stop isolating to woman. The issue is not marriage, it's the scrotes and incels that warped it. Because way back then when we were cave people banging rocks together, it was up to the husband to ease to woman's life and die off once he did not benefit her anymore. They formed groups where they'd help with taking care of children, all this mom is the sole carer malarky is pretty damn modern.

[–]IronsculptureFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

The only way to make marriage beneficial for a woman that doesn't need marriage to survive, but wants it, is to make men care enough to divide labour.

Men know that If they don't do chores the chores will be done anyway, and they also know that if they neglect their children they will be taken care of by someone else (the mother) anyway. Even in the situation where women don't take care of chores/children, I don't imagine men will take up all the responsibilities of women as they're too used to not having to do these things.

Marrying only after ruthless vetting means that a lot of women won't marry at all, and many who do will be surprised by a change in their HVM husband's attitude after marriage and pregnancy.

Violence actually isn't the greatest problem in marriage, it is deliberate male incompetence that results in female exhaustion and a stagnation of women's progress. Violence is easier to deal with than this more passive/energy-draining attack on women.

There are always exceptions and genuinely responsible men that care and divide labour equally because they want to, but relying on exceptions never solved a societal problem.

[–]flower_vulvaFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]IronsculptureFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

You explain the positive aspects of marriage, but how do they exactly invalidate the negative ones?

"How is this in any way an FDS stance to take? FDS is staunchly against being a forever-girlfriend. " I've asked this question in this forum before, meaning how to reconcile the understanding that marriage can be a handicap in a woman's life, with the idea that being a forever-girlfriend is an undesirable outcome.

I received no satisfactory response, but what I asked is whether marriage is a good option, not if it's better than being a forever-girlfriend. They're both bad for a woman that is secure and financially independent in a first world country, in my opinion.

The answer here is to make 0 unpaid contribution to begin with. Why would you need a fickle safety net if you don't fuck up by investing energy and resources in a man's business to begin with?

Also, about rape and marriage. Take a look around you, and tell me that coercion, intimidation, the oppressive misogynistic culture and the prevailing belief of a wife's responsibility don't enable marital rape in every corner of the world. The nature of this marital-rape-culture was deliberately made to be this way.

Rape is a part of marriage, sorry to burst your bubble. Even if there's a tiny minority of men that don't take advantage of these circumstances in marriage, this doesn't actually change anything about the rest of the world, or how these circumstances make wives vulnerable to guilt and manipulation.

No matter how I see it, you only manage to make marriage sound like a good thing in the context of a woman existing in an already shitty situation. Perhaps for a poor woman, or woman from a third world country it's a better option, or for an idiot that's prone to contributing resources and energy in businesses that don't actually belong to her, but in what other situation is it good?

[–]flower_vulvaFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]IronsculptureFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]flower_vulvaFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]IronsculptureFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I already said that marriage is beneficial to women in certain situations, so I can only assume that you didn't read my comments properly.

What I was questioning was the benefit of marriage for a financially secure woman in different circumstances in a first world country.

Marital rape often involves the use of coercion, and it doesn't happen rarely at all. Also, our culture and financial dependency on men both enable marital rape.

Sure, you can try hard to find an HVM, but as they're a minority, how is marriage beneficial for the average woman that won't find an HVM? Also, there's several studies that have shown that men's behaviours are often perfect and pro-equality until after marriage and pregnancy. Another question I ask, is marriage worth the risk in this context?

I'm not a defeatist, I am weighing the pros and the cons of a very important decision instead of assuming everything will turn out in my favour in a system that was created to benefit men.

"You're denying that there are any HVM at all"

I've admitted that there's a minority of good men who don't take advantage of the circumstances surrounding marriage in my previous comment, so I can only wonder where this idea of yours came from. I'm also not against dating or marriage altogether, as I've repeated multiple times.

I never adviced women in vulnerable situations not to take the protections available to them through marriage. I've been extremely explicit about the kind of women I'm talking about here, financially independent, secure women who live in a first world country.

[–]throwawayastrogirlFDS Newbie 46 points47 points48 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]IronsculptureFDS Newbie 34 points35 points36 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]throwawayastrogirlFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]IronsculptureFDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]flowerpower102938FDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link