I have cripplingly low self esteem.

GodILoveTheEnglish · 2021-12-12T04:15:22+00:00

I agree with the other comments about addressing the addiction first, that’s your first step! You’ve already made a big stride in that area by admitting it to yourself.

It can be tricky for us women to want to stay fit and healthy without thinking about it in the terms of “this will make me LOOK good” as opposed to doing it to be healthy.

I don’t have good advice for getting you started, I’m trying to figure that out myself, but when you do, pay attention to how it makes you feel. Eating well and exercising makes one feel great! Pay attention to that feeling once you get it. Don’t rely or focus on things like the mirror or your weight or your measurements. Focus on how you feel. Your energy and mental state will improve.

I’m so sorry I don’t have any advice for how you can get started on it, but I wish you all the best and I know you can do it. We’re rooting for you!!

Owl-right · 2021-12-12T03:27:05+00:00

Girllll love yourself! WE LOVE YOU and want to see you thriving. I don't know what continent you are on, but make it your hot girl Summer. I lost 8+ kgs mainly from sadness but now I've found my groove substituting those old foods for fruit and veggies. This is your life and you only get one. I cannot explain the satisfaction you will get running into your ex one day and looking fine while they look like a sack of shit 💅 and me I'm looking fire and dating higher calibre men and I've never been happier. You can start today, or tomorrow, but do it for YOU.

The_Cat_Empress · 2021-12-12T04:00:58+00:00

I get how you feel Queen. I’m extremely introverted and feel like a delusional butthole when I say I’m attractive. Maintaining your weight will help with your depression. Even small steps will help. I know it seems cliche, but it has to start somewhere. Even looking at yourself and the mirror and being like “Welp, I’m here for another day, let’s try and drink less today” will help. And I know I’m an Internet stranger, but I’m giving you virtual hugs. You’re not alone. We love you here sis! 🥺

Mysterious_Call_924 · 2021-12-12T04:59:22+00:00

It sounds like your addiction stems more from your self-hatred than anything. You don't feel good about yourself most of the time so your body looks for anything to make it feel better .

This article might be a good read for you: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201512/how-get-what-you-really-want

As far as losing weight and exercise goes, the number one thing causing you to retain weight is stress. You should give yourself permission to wallow in your bad feelings right now. Throw a tantrum, let it all out. Once you've tired yourself out a bit, take a warm shower and go to sleep.

The next day, I want you to start eating protein with every meal (ex. chicken and rice for lunch, or a protein bar for a snack). Losing weight really is 90% diet. Exercise is more for building muscle and improving flexibility and body wellness.

I was lucky enough to grow up with a family member who exercised with me from a young age. She has a serious debilitating illness and we would go to classes for other people like her. Being in an environment like that makes you realize how exercise is really about just being able to MOVE. There's a common saying "The best exercise is the one you'll do." There was one woman in there who was paralyzed on the entire left side of her body but she was there every week and eventually was able to move her hand some again! When you're around people like that, you begin to view exercise not as a punishment but as a life-saving activity that you do to improve your body.

If you're currently interested in predominately weight loss, I would work on eating more protein and find some fun things to do that make you not focus on yourself. Right now you're so down on yourself, you need something external to take your mind off of your negative self-talk. Once you stop hating yourself as much, you'll eat and drink less. You could take a painting class, or go to the park, or do some local activity. In the future if you want to work out try a short ten minute yoga flow on youtube or look up short exercise routines on pinterest.

lansburysoda · 2021-12-12T04:52:46+00:00

Therapy. Emotional eating manifests as a physical problem, but ultimately it’s an emotional problem. It’s not an easy road but if you can start taking a few steps, you’ll eventually get to where you want to be.

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2021-12-12T03:53:58+00:00

The first thing I would do would be to address the alcohol addiction and the depression. Medication really helps. Also therapy to address why you have the addiction in the first place.

You're still in the breakup period, so the depression may be solely because of that.

You should be kind to yourself. You deserve to be happy.

Colour_riot · 2021-12-12T05:48:55+00:00

Does anyone have any tips for getting fit that aren’t all based around hating yourself?

FR, go to therapy and start loving yourself. Act it out too. Pick out healthier foods that you enjoy (ie. if you hate apples, don't eat apples), drink healthier drinks that you enjoy (ie. if you like tea, get the finest grade tea).

Don't tell yourself that you are "banned" from having any foods. Just remind yourself that you are making a choice not to have any of something today, or to have a limited amount of something that you enjoy.

Don't hate the "unhealthy" things either, it leads to complicated feelings when enjoying the food. Eat and enjoy it slowly and savour every bit of it.

And don't hate on yourself afterwards. If you ate 2 slices of pizza, you enjoyed it. Don't ruin it by feeling like you "broke" any diet and scarf the rest down.

You don't have to be at 100% all the time to make progress. 80% is great and even 30 to 50% moves you forward.

Title	I have cripplingly low self esteem.
Author	legoflowers
Upvotes	35
Comments	9
Date	December 12, 2021 3:12 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/refoxx/i_have_cripplingly_low_self_esteem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-have-cripplingly-low-self-esteem.1092925 https://theredarchive.com/post/1092925

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